Monday, April 09, 2007

Ask me about my weekend.

It was awesome! Thanks for asking. My bestest friend, who is currently living in the South as a teacher for Teach For America, who is living in my LDS Mormon Stake (similar to a diocese for you unfamiliar) in Mississippi (yes, my stake's bigger than yours), who is similarly aged, who is single, who is crazy-go-nuts awesome, FFF and I went to Memphis Friday. (I should say here that she's not my REAL bestest friend, but she is my bestest friend who fits all of those criteria. In short, she is the only LDS Mormon friend I have in these here parts AND SHE'S TWO HOURS AWAY!!! Oh...and I LOVE her!) (We don't really refer to ourselves as LDS Mormons, by the way. I just sometimes like being redundant.)

Tell me if this happens to you: when you go to Memphis, do you always get lost? It IS one of the most confusing places you have ever been to, right? It's so confusing that even Mapquest gets confused, for Mapquest sent me all over eastern Memphis looking for my hotel which was not at all where Mapquest said it was. That's how confusing it is. It fooled a computer! So, anyway, we spent much of Friday afternoon being lost, but that was okay because in being lost, we found a lot of stuff that would entertain us later in the evening after we had found our hotel and dropped our stuff there. We laughed a lot because there are two things to do when lost: get pist or laugh. I always try to go with the latter, laughter option.

Did y'all feel that freakishly cold and awesome air that swept the country over the weekend? It was so cold in Memphis, that we were glad we got lost and found lots of stuff to do INDOORS. We went to some mall that had a Godiva Chocolatier in it. I bought, like, 4 thousand pieces of chocolate (but probably just 4) that were all equally evil and awesome! (I'm not letting go of awesome!) Godiva isn't my preferred chocolate, but when in Rome, Romans might eat Godiva if it's available, and that's what was available, so I ate it.

After schlepping around the mall and threatening to buy shoes I didn't need (while Triple F was simultaneously getting hit on by weird men [who made it known that they had a bellybutton, like we didn't know that] with coffee-stained teeth who told pirate jokes [awesome]), we went to Best Buy to play Guitar Hero. Have y'all played this game? Neither have I because some 26-y.o. LOSER was HOGGING the game!!! GO TO A BAR AND PICK UP CHICKS!! But it looks totally AWESOME, anyway! Wish we could have played it. While I wasn't playing that game, I was buying Hellogoodbye's latest because I can't get enough of "Here In Your Arms". (I'm not kidding. I listened to it DURING THE ENTIRE 2-HOUR DRIVE HOME TONIGHT! "Well, you are the one the one that lies close to me/Whispers hello, I miss you quite terribly/I fell in love, in love with you suddenly/Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms.")

Saturday, the air was heart-stoppingly and not-at-all-springly cold, so we ate some spicy Thai food, which is always one of my favorite things to do. We then walked across the street to the Peabody Hotel because nothing makes me giddier than the fact that this hotel has ROYAL DUCKS! The DUCKS are treated as KING and QUEENS! They have a DUCK PALACE! They walk on a RED CARPET everyday from the elevator to the hotel lobby DUCK POND FOUNTAIN! To a SOUZA MARCH! It's TOTALLY, HILARIOUSLY AWESOME! I want to be friends with the dead man who thought up this gimmick. He's my kind of people.

We were going to enjoy the Beale Street atmosphere, but the only atmosphere over there was an Arctic one, so we went to the Apple Store and to some other shops, including a children's clothing store that had the cutest baby clothes, baby clothes that made my ovaries expel a jillion eggs and made my uterus contract (all in vain). It's no secret that plural children give me the twitches and the need for Zoloft or a gun, but if I had had the ability to spontaneously produce children, I would have dropped 3 out of my womanhood right onto that floor just so I could have clothed them in those clothes.

Shortly thereafter, we headed back to Mississippi where we were lazy. Sunday, we made Cjane's black bean burgers, which were so tasty and awesome! (Cjane, don't let me forget that I have a question to ask you.) Later in the evening after naps, we watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, but instead of listening to the soundtrack, we muted it and listened to some dude's commentary that he wrote and recorded for others to listen to while watching the movie. It's one of the funniest things I have ever watched/listened to. A warning: it's not for the pure in language. There is a lot of comedic F-bombing that happens. It is also pants-wettingly funny, so pee before watching if you choose to do so. Also, if you have gas, hope that whomever you're watching with doesn't mind if those get let go, because from personal experience, it is gas-passingly hilarious. Mind-numbingly is another adverb I would use to describe the character of the comedy...or mind-throbbingly, or headache-inducingly, or myriad other such adverbs. If you dare, and you should, you can find the recording here. Do enjoy. And if you think you don't like HP and the SS, you have NO IDEA!!!

Lots of chocolate.

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6 Comments:

At 01:24, Blogger Noelle F. said...

Schlepping.

That's the coolest word ever.

Kind of like my word verification: fyrgi

 
At 09:20, Blogger Rachel said...

Best.

Post.

EVER!

"He's my kind of people." I'm totally saying that from now on.

I don't care how precious the baby clothes were, nothing is cute enough to actually warrant having a baby.

 
At 04:54, Anonymous Tokyo Mama said...

You can dress my baby whenever you want! Glad to hear you enjoyed Memphis.

 
At 12:00, Blogger metamorphose said...

I'm so going to try the Harry Potter thing. For reals. Thanks for passing that along.

 
At 06:28, Blogger AzĂșcar said...

Don't get me started on Memphis!!

3? Out of your womanhood?!

 
At 17:46, Blogger b. said...

I love hellogoodbye.
Guitar Hero Rocks...but we've already established that commonality.
Pist...I like that. It makes it seem less harsh.

 

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