Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I can't stop watching this.

I haven't stopped watching this since I saw her on Letteman on Friday. I'm not kidding. It's still on my TiVo, too. I wish I had the audio file so I could play it on repeat in my room, in my car, on my iPod. I like this so much better than the album recording.

WOOT! WOOT! I FINALLY have the audio file! FOR REAL THIS TIME!


My first interview. I feel so famous.

Azúcar has sent me some interview questions, and after several hours, I've finally finished answering them. Thanks for the inquiry, Zuc, and enjoy.

Azúcar: You are always finding great new music. What drives your desire to consume music?

Kiki: I enjoy silence when I need it. I’m not one of those people who have to always fill it with sound, but I almost always need music filling my ears. That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, does it? I don’t care. This is my blog! I can say what I want. Anyway, music is the cementer of memories. If music is always playing, there will be times when little, impressionable things will happen, but you may forget them by the end of the day or even the hour. The next time you hear the song that was playing when that memory was made, every detail of that moment will come flooding back to you. So many experiences I have had are tied to music. Whenever I hear anything by Shania Twain from her “Come On, Come On” album, I will remember that crazy roadtrip from here to Utah with my friend Sheridan, which also led to an impromtu trip from Utah to San Diego with Sheridan and two other friends, Janessa and Jan. Remind me sometime to recount a story involving banana peels, car windows, and hands. Whenever I listen to Tori Amos’ album “Scarlet’s Walk”, I will be whisked away to Pontcharra, France, where I lived a few years ago. I always think of my train rides back into the village; I remember every change in scenery, the vineyards to the little towns to the 11th century towers sprinking the foothills to the odd-looking factories and each massive pile of wood. I remember walking the streets of the towns and the changes in my pace and style of walk as the songs changed. I remember walking home late at night after leaving the movie house. I remember the smells of that small town.

In addition to that, I just love really well-orchestrated music, (I’m no trained musician, so I don’t really know how to talk about this) the way instruments’ sounds intertwine. I really love a heavy left hand on the piano. I love when I think a song is amazing, and then there is a little surprise when the bridge of the song sends me to higher heights with its crazy awesomeness!

Another reason I crave music is because we can find ourselves and our lives in almost any song. At least, I do, and that’s why a listen to it constantly.

Azúcar: Exactly how many languages do you speak and in what countries have you traveled?

Kiki: Obviously, I speak English. It’s my native language. I’m very good at spelling and at answering, “I’m doing well,” and not, “I’m doing good,” when others ask me “How are you doing?” Because when people ask me that, I’m usually not being the good-doing humanitarian.

I took French classes at different points during grade school and knew I’d want to learn it for reals one day, so I did that while at the BYU and during multiple visits and livings in French-speaking countries, Quebec, Switzerland, Morocco, Senegal, and France, bien-sûr. My first international travel happened at the end of my senior year of high school, when I went on a class trip to London & environs, unless the trip to Calgary when I was 8 counts. It was the London trip and not the Calgary trip that jump-started my addiction to going somewhere else that’s not my own country.

After my Spanish-speaking, Mormon LDS Church Mission to the difficult area of San Diego, California, I went with one of my companions and her family to pick up her brother from his Mormon LDS Church Mission in Austria. We spent much time in that country, Germany, and some redundant places. While there, we went to a very heated football match where we got showered with beer.

While at the BYU, I may have continued my studies of the Spanish language under La Professora. I also decided that I should probably pick up German while I was there. Let’s wrap this up: I’ve also been to Mexico, Spain, and Italy. I want Japanese to be the next language that I seriously study. It’s time for a non-Indo-European language.

Azúcar: Say I want to go to Mardi Gras next year, what would you recommend I do or do not do?

Kiki: I recommend you do what I always do. You must splurge and stay downtown, and I don’t mean in the business district. You should go to Café du Monde late every night for beignets and hot chocolate (or café au lait, if that’s your thing). You should go to the Irish quarter for roast beef po-boys at Parasols. They are delicious. You should go ride the street car down St. Charles (if they have that up and running by next Mardi Gras) late one morning, take the first stop on Carrollton Ave., and go eat breakfast at The Camellia Grille, WHICH FINALLY REOPENED (20 MONTHS AFTER KATRINA) THIS WEEK!!! WAHOO! You should go eat Cajun food anywhere you can find it (everywhere). You should take a walk down Royal Street for antique shopping. The entire street is lined with antique shops. You should dress up in a really funky outfit for Mardi Gras day. You should attend the Endymion and Orpheus parades because their floats are SUPERIOR to any other krewes’ floats. And you should attend Zulu for the experience. You should never lose your patience with the revelers because everyone is there to have a good time and to love each other. There are a lot of great artists in New Orleans, so you should walk around the Quarter to visit some of the galleries. OH! And you should, if you like books, visit Arcadian Books & Prints, a bookstore I recently found by accident and love. You should not spend a lot of time on Bourbon street, and not because of the things you might see, but because of the things you might smell. You smell vomit, you make vomit.

Azúcar: Explain to me your feelings about mayonnaise.

Kiki: Mayonnaise is one of the few substances that can make me dry heave just by thinking about it. The smell, the sound, and the taste are a trifecta of doom to my peaceful stomach and its contents. It’s disgusting, and we can never be friends, unless it is, in minimal amounts, holding together a really yummy chicken salad.

Azúcar: You have 4 free days, a credit card with no limit, and an updated passport: where are you going, who is coming with you, and what are you doing?

Kiki: I would fly to Utah immediately, I would rent a convertible luxury car, I would drive to Logan, I would kidnap my Janalyn, and we would go wherever we wanted to for four days. Four days is too few to actually leave the country, so I would use it to have a fun roadtrip with one of my greatest, most favorite friends. One night at our hotel, I would book hotels and buy tickets to go to every show on the up-coming Tori Amos tour. Also, during each of those four days, I would extract the maximum amount of cash in ATM withdrawals to fund the miscellany of that tour. I would hope that at some point during the trip, we’d pass an Apple Store. I would buy a new Mac G5 with all of the bells and whistles. I would purchase cameras and lenses galore. Those would be four AWESOME days. Jan, when are we going? I won’t have that imaginary card, though, or the convertible luxury car.

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Sunday, April 22, 2007

Blocking what could have been the most uncomfortable moment of the decade

These moments seem to always come courtesy of g-ma. This exchange occurred as she was reading the paper.

G-ma: Maybe I'm just stupid about things like this, but could you explain to me how someone has phone sex?
Me: (thinking to myself) Pass.

I shrugged my shoulders and left the room. I feel like I should send her a memo, and the memo would say something like this: "Any talk regarding sex shall be strictly kept to oneself when the conversation involves you and me."

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Rich Whitey: 6/1997 - 4/2007

I remember the day I brought her home. She was beautiful and shiny and smell-goody. The first song I played was "Elegantly Wasted" by INXS, and I loved it so much because the sound system was WAY better than the car I had just replaced. The bass boomed. I invited my friends to come visit her and to go with me on little jaunts with her. One of my favorite friends of that Summer christened her "Rich Whitey" because she was the richest car on the block.

Rich Whitey was the venue where a lot of good memories were made. I took many drives through the gorgeous canyons of Utah. I fell in love in that car. Many roadtrips to San Diego, Las Vegas, Denver, Southern Utah, Logan, and the Sierra Nevadas were made in Rich Whitey. She was my therapist; a lot of problems were sorted out with her. But I think we both preferred when she was filled with friends, laughter, music, and she was going somewhere fun.

Ah... I'm going to miss Rich Whitey. She has a lot of power, but she's getting old and wrinkled and dilapidated. She's being sent to live with a nice Guatemalan family (I'm not kidding), where she will be loved and cared for in this Indian Summer of her life and where her new name will be Huera Rica. I wanted to keep her forever, but that's impractical. I need to buck up and move on.

Now I will be driving my mom's old car because she bought a new vehicle. The old car is not actually old. It's quite nice. It's a Mazda 626. I haven't thought up a name for it yet. The best I can come up with is "Red-headed Stepchild". I'll have to think about it.

I'm kinda sad about the whole thing. So all yous that have met/ridden/fellowshipped Rich Whitey, pay your respects!

Dear men who have these hanging from your HUGE trucks or Harleys,

You are gross, and now we all know what you don't actually have.



Monday, April 09, 2007

Ask me about my weekend.

It was awesome! Thanks for asking. My bestest friend, who is currently living in the South as a teacher for Teach For America, who is living in my LDS Mormon Stake (similar to a diocese for you unfamiliar) in Mississippi (yes, my stake's bigger than yours), who is similarly aged, who is single, who is crazy-go-nuts awesome, FFF and I went to Memphis Friday. (I should say here that she's not my REAL bestest friend, but she is my bestest friend who fits all of those criteria. In short, she is the only LDS Mormon friend I have in these here parts AND SHE'S TWO HOURS AWAY!!! Oh...and I LOVE her!) (We don't really refer to ourselves as LDS Mormons, by the way. I just sometimes like being redundant.)

Tell me if this happens to you: when you go to Memphis, do you always get lost? It IS one of the most confusing places you have ever been to, right? It's so confusing that even Mapquest gets confused, for Mapquest sent me all over eastern Memphis looking for my hotel which was not at all where Mapquest said it was. That's how confusing it is. It fooled a computer! So, anyway, we spent much of Friday afternoon being lost, but that was okay because in being lost, we found a lot of stuff that would entertain us later in the evening after we had found our hotel and dropped our stuff there. We laughed a lot because there are two things to do when lost: get pist or laugh. I always try to go with the latter, laughter option.

Did y'all feel that freakishly cold and awesome air that swept the country over the weekend? It was so cold in Memphis, that we were glad we got lost and found lots of stuff to do INDOORS. We went to some mall that had a Godiva Chocolatier in it. I bought, like, 4 thousand pieces of chocolate (but probably just 4) that were all equally evil and awesome! (I'm not letting go of awesome!) Godiva isn't my preferred chocolate, but when in Rome, Romans might eat Godiva if it's available, and that's what was available, so I ate it.

After schlepping around the mall and threatening to buy shoes I didn't need (while Triple F was simultaneously getting hit on by weird men [who made it known that they had a bellybutton, like we didn't know that] with coffee-stained teeth who told pirate jokes [awesome]), we went to Best Buy to play Guitar Hero. Have y'all played this game? Neither have I because some 26-y.o. LOSER was HOGGING the game!!! GO TO A BAR AND PICK UP CHICKS!! But it looks totally AWESOME, anyway! Wish we could have played it. While I wasn't playing that game, I was buying Hellogoodbye's latest because I can't get enough of "Here In Your Arms". (I'm not kidding. I listened to it DURING THE ENTIRE 2-HOUR DRIVE HOME TONIGHT! "Well, you are the one the one that lies close to me/Whispers hello, I miss you quite terribly/I fell in love, in love with you suddenly/Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms.")

Saturday, the air was heart-stoppingly and not-at-all-springly cold, so we ate some spicy Thai food, which is always one of my favorite things to do. We then walked across the street to the Peabody Hotel because nothing makes me giddier than the fact that this hotel has ROYAL DUCKS! The DUCKS are treated as KING and QUEENS! They have a DUCK PALACE! They walk on a RED CARPET everyday from the elevator to the hotel lobby DUCK POND FOUNTAIN! To a SOUZA MARCH! It's TOTALLY, HILARIOUSLY AWESOME! I want to be friends with the dead man who thought up this gimmick. He's my kind of people.

We were going to enjoy the Beale Street atmosphere, but the only atmosphere over there was an Arctic one, so we went to the Apple Store and to some other shops, including a children's clothing store that had the cutest baby clothes, baby clothes that made my ovaries expel a jillion eggs and made my uterus contract (all in vain). It's no secret that plural children give me the twitches and the need for Zoloft or a gun, but if I had had the ability to spontaneously produce children, I would have dropped 3 out of my womanhood right onto that floor just so I could have clothed them in those clothes.

Shortly thereafter, we headed back to Mississippi where we were lazy. Sunday, we made Cjane's black bean burgers, which were so tasty and awesome! (Cjane, don't let me forget that I have a question to ask you.) Later in the evening after naps, we watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, but instead of listening to the soundtrack, we muted it and listened to some dude's commentary that he wrote and recorded for others to listen to while watching the movie. It's one of the funniest things I have ever watched/listened to. A warning: it's not for the pure in language. There is a lot of comedic F-bombing that happens. It is also pants-wettingly funny, so pee before watching if you choose to do so. Also, if you have gas, hope that whomever you're watching with doesn't mind if those get let go, because from personal experience, it is gas-passingly hilarious. Mind-numbingly is another adverb I would use to describe the character of the comedy...or mind-throbbingly, or headache-inducingly, or myriad other such adverbs. If you dare, and you should, you can find the recording here. Do enjoy. And if you think you don't like HP and the SS, you have NO IDEA!!!

Lots of chocolate.

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Wednesday, April 04, 2007

I made a HUGE discovery this week. I'm probably the only person this is HUGE for, but it makes my life just THAT MUCH easier. Don't look at your keyboard, but place your hands in the correct place. You know...your left forefinger on F and your right forefinger on J and so on. Now...lightly stroke those F and J keys. Not the others. Just the F and J. Do you feel that? Those non-flat, ridgy things? Those are the greatest things EVER!!! And this is why: I love to be in the dark. I don't like light. My room is almost always black because I can get around in it, because I don't NEED the light that hurts my eyes, because it's just wasting electricity, because the only things I do in my room are surf the internet and watch TV, and guess what! You don't need superfluous light to do either of those things. You know that computer screen and that TV screen? Light. I don't need other light to see them. BUT I have been known to pull out the keyboard under that light just so I could find my F and J landmarks so I could properly place my hands on the keyboard. BUT THAT IS ALL OVER! You know why?! BECAUSE OF THE NON-FLAT, RIDGY THINGS ON THE F AND J! It's AWESOME! I'm so happy!

Here are some videos that make me laugh and/or make me happy:

What are some of your favorite video links?