Monday, February 12, 2007

My Thoughts While Watching the Grammys

I would give anything to see The Police play together for real.

Another song we haven't heard won a Grammy because it was sung by legends even though the entire world had to go through rehab to get "Hips Don't Lie" out of their heads.

The two not-Natalie Dixie Chicks look like they should be backing Robert Palmer.

Beyoncé really does bug.

I want to punch Fergie in the face because she can't read and for countless other reasons.

I've never seen India.Arie's hair before. She looks WAY different.

I was just thinking of Erykah Badu, but I still don't think I've ever seen India.'s hair.

Father God, Mambo, and the Savior Jesus Christ. SOMEBODY got demoted!

Justin, we ALL know "What Goes Around..." was about Britney and not about "a friend's personal experience", so stop trying to play us.

I wish there were a knob on the TV that I could turn to put people back on pitch.

I can’t stand Corinne Bailey Rae.

¿Como se llama, bonita? Mi casa. I need to go back to rehab.

I do not like Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy (Funeral Durge Remix)”.

Mary J. Blige = true musical royalty? Isn’t that going too far?

Wait! How did the Dixie Chicks beat LEGEND Willie Nelson?! Just kidding.

I just had an evil thought: Rascal Fatts. HEE! That dude should really do something else with his hair.

Carrie Underwood… She causes turmoil within me because I cannot like country, but I LOVE her voice.

How did Chris Brown become famous? Really. Did Usher retire and pass his crown on?

Elisabeth Schwartzkopf?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I’m sorry. That was mean. She meant a lot to someone.

Seriously, how did draping James Brown’s cape over the mic incite that riotous outburst? THE POLICE JUST REUNITED ON THIS VERY STAGE!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mary J. Blige. Again.

Since my friend told me that James Blunt sounded like Rod Stewart, I haven’t been able to listen to that song “You’re Beautiful”. It’s a good thing because he’s SO. BORING!

Are JT and Mary J. competing to see who performs the most on stage tonight?

Did you know that Flea’s last name was Gonzales? And what is he wearing?

At least he’s wearing something.

Best Rock Album: I swear to God if John Mayer beats the Red Hot Chili Peppers… I don’t have to finish that sentence.

I want to put John Mayer, Corinne Insipid Rae, and James Blunt into a basin, fill it with cement, and sink it so that we never have to hear from them again.

Album of the Year…WHAT?! CURRENTLY RECORDING HER FIRST ALBUM SCARLETT JOHANSSON?! WTF?!

FUNNIEST. EXCHANGE. EVER!!!
Don Henley: So you’re recording your first album.
ScarJo: Yeah. Do you have any advice for me?
Don Henley: No.

GO, DIXIES!

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9 Comments:

At 17:10, Anonymous burichan said...

On MSN.com today:

The Police announced their first tour in decades Monday at a rehearsal at the Whisky a Go-Go as a throng of fans crowded near the legendary Sunset Strip nightclub.

The trio, which led off Sunday night's Grammy Awards with a live performance of its hit "Roxanne," broke up in 1984, and members Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland have since pursued solo careers.

The Police plan to play arenas, stadiums and some festivals in a North American tour beginning May 28 in Vancouver.

Some confirmed cities on the tour include New York, Boston, Seattle, Denver, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Dallas, New Orleans, St. Louis, Toronto and Montreal.

Tickets for the North American leg will range from $50 to $225. A portion of the tour's proceeds will go to WaterAid, an anti-poverty organization that seeks to provide poor people access to safe water.

 
At 18:49, Blogger Kiki said...

I could have $225 for The Police.

 
At 02:50, Blogger Azúcar said...

Is it bad that I don't care that The Police are reuniting? I'm bored of them. Seriously, don't stand that close to me.

 
At 05:43, Blogger Kiki said...

So what you're saying is you would have been one of the crazy, howling, standing ovation people when they hung James Brown's cape over the microphone.

 
At 09:48, Blogger Azúcar said...

I vote none of the above.

 
At 16:46, Blogger sue-donym said...

Can I help pour the cement?

 
At 16:57, Blogger "said" Woman said...

Great post! I just came across your blog and couldn't help but laugh out loud!

 
At 19:17, Blogger Kiki said...

Sue, yes.

Thanks, "said" woman.

 
At 15:49, Blogger ~j. said...

Yeah, I'll help with that sinking. I agree with your assessments. 'Cept...the Natalie was so...awkward when accepting the awards.

 

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