Thursday, April 27, 2006

A shout out to a favorite website!

If you're putting together a list of beautiful people, you automatically lose all credibility if Kirstie Alley makes it on. It'd be like making a list of healthiest foods and putting chocolate covered pizza as number three. about ganache coverd pizza? Everything is better in ganache!


Wednesday, April 26, 2006

What is wrong with this sentence?

This is from a caption in our Monroe newspaper today:
Susan Wilson explains how she fought back after falling victim to a video voyeur during a 4th Judicial District Attorney's Office program honoring crime victims and survivors blah, blah, blah.

If you read that the way I read that, then that's pretty ironic. But why was a video voyeur video-voyeuring at such a program? Shouldn't he be taping...say...a massage parlor? Oh wait...we've got one of those guys, too.

Also, COME TO LOUISIANA! We are number 1 in the national murder rate ranking!


Monday, April 24, 2006

Copyright 2006

While chatting with a friend about my "emo boys/bois" observation, I coined a new term: hEMOsexual. "EMO" has to be capitalized like that in the middle of the word, because sex with blood is not sexy or fun to talk about. That's just really gross.


One more thing...

I forgot to tell you that during the concert and while he was playing with his cellphone, Ben called William Shatner so we could sing "Happy Birthday" to him. The first two digits of Bill's phone number are 81, so for all of you Shatner fanatics, there's a jumping off point for you.


Sunday, April 23, 2006

It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp

Tonight marks my failed first attempt at being a pimp. A friend in need of some "stress relief"* asked me for some recommendations, and I texted my boy, E. I asked him if he had a girlfriend, and then I told him the situation. I got a call from an unknown number thinking he had something to do with it, so I answered it and didn't recognize the incredibly fake, hick accent on the other end of the phone. Then later I got a call from E's supposed girlfriend. Apparently, she was really offended by my suggestion. Maybe I am evil for pawning him off to a friend in need, but Jamie, he is no angel.

*For Mormons, that means a lot of sucking face and not going any further lest they incur the wrath of God and a one-way ticket out of BYU if they attend that university, which...these players do.


Ben Folds, the MCAT, and Freedom

Thursday, I was really starting to feel the stress well up inside. I wasn't going to go see Ben Folds play the following night because I knew I needed my rest for MCAT day. But Thursday night, I got little to no sleep. The sleep I did get was invaded by equations. I had where I was writing, erasing, and rewriting equations on a blackboard. I guess it's good that I knew the equations, but that was ridiculous.

So Friday morning, when I got out of bed, I made the decision. I was not going to sit anywhere and do nothing all day long. I got up, went to a movie with my parents, and headed to Ruston where I waited for hours with other crazy fans to see Ben Folds. I love him. I had seen him in concert once before (when he opened for Tori a couple of years ago, natch), and he was so charismatic. I fell in love.

The first 500 through the door Friday night got wristbands that allowed us to be on the floor. Because I'm getting to be an old geezer, I quickly found the closest seat on the floor perimeter with the best view. His opening act, Chris Mills, SUCKED! I don't know who he is or where he came from. He feigns a larger-than-life stage presence, but he didn't fool me. The only thought I had for 25 minutes was "Who the eff are you, and why has no one told you your songs are awful?!"

Dear Chris,
You are awful, and you do not have the reputation to swagger and bounce around the stage like that and get away with it.

No love,

During the break between douchebag and Ben Folds, I got to observe some "emo boys". I took some crappy pictures for you. This first one was of a little pow-wow of the "emo boys". I would like to take this moment to declare, "Death to emo androgyny!!" I'm so confused. Are they gay? Are they straight? Are they asexual? I don't know. I saw one of them kiss another girl, but does that mean anything? I don't know.

Here is one of those "emo boys", or should it be "emo bois"? Again...I don't know. It's all a mystery to me. I seem to remember hearing some emo song where the singer was a boy singing about kissing boys. I'm just sayin'. Anyway, is this guy kidding me?! What is with the painted-on jeans? I was fascinated by it. I couldn't stop staring. I couldn't stop asking myself, "Why?" OH! AND to top it all off, he had a cheap, vinyl piano keyboard belt wrapped around his frail waist. I went solo to the concert, but that did not stop me from banding with a group of strangers in fervent agreement that the belt was definitely the cherry on top of that couture sundae. Other agreements: "Emo boys/bois" are a strange species, and he DID just grab that other boy/boi's butt.

Now, on with the show. Ben came out with a band. The first time I'd seen him, he was solo because, we learned later in Friday's concert, he was too poor to have a supporting band. So this was exciting because now we could really raise the roof, and boy/boi, did they do that! He played a bunch of his popular songs before he went into a very gentle and sweet cover of Dr. Dre's "Bitches Ain't Shit". It was hilarious listening to them sing, IN HARMONIES, that song because it is possibly the dirtiest song ever. Some girl flung her bra at him with a song request written on it ("Not the Same") and the message, "I need this back." I yelled "Rock this Bitch", and he played that. He remembered that he'd spent 15 bucks earlier in the day on ringtones for his phone, and he sent someone to get his phone so he could show us the ringtones he bought. One was "Final Countdown" by Europe. I wasn't familiar with the other ringtones except for that stupid Toby Keith song. Hopefully, he downloaded that one because he thinks it's the most absurd song ever written. There was a lot of banter between him and us. It was one of the most fun concerts I'd ever been to.

The best thing about going to the concert is that it took my mind off of the MCAT. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! I went home and went straight to bed keeping focused on the fun time I had had. I slept like a brick until my alarm went off at 6:30, at which point I showered and choked down stuff that I would never eat for breakfast. (Boiled egg on toast and blueberries in my yogurt...ew...I hate blueberries!)

When I got to the testing place, we waited outside until about 8:15 to be checked in and seated. While waiting, we all looked like we were about to throw up on each other. It turned out to be and 8 hour and 45 minute day. The most annoying part was listening to the same set of instructions four times read by humorless women. By the fourth time, I was like, "[B-word], I know where to write my name!" (Say it again, all hard, like a gangsta.) The most absurd instruction we received was "Do not attempt to memorize the test." Like I've got that kind of time! The test was okay. The physical sciences part seemed easier than usual. The verbal reasoning and writing portion are the easiest sections ever. And the biological sciences section seemed harder than usual. So, I don't really know what to say when someone asks me how it went. "It seemed easy, ridiculously easy, and hard, but I don't trust my feelings when it comes to tests."

So, I'm glad it's over. I feel so light and free now. It's amazing and wonderful. WOOHOO!!!

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Friday, April 21, 2006


I think tonight is going to be much like the Christmas Eves of my youth: lots of mind-racing, little sleep, and possibly a nervous stomach.


Thursday, April 20, 2006

Moving on.

For about three years, I listened to Tori Amos almost exclusively. I love Her music. I love Her. Every time anyone took the earbud out of my ear or took a ride in my car, She would be singing. Every once-in-a-while, I put someone else on to please the other people I associated with. It didn't make me happy because I really wanted to be listening to Tori. Former love affairs I'd had with bands were forgotten and left behind. She got all of my attention. Well, I've finally broken the addiction. Of course, I still love her and she is still my number one, but I have come to a point where I listen to other people. I even have love affairs with them. So let me tell you what else I'm playing right now.

Rilo Kiley - "Execution of All Things"
Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins - "Rabbit Fur Coat"
Stars - "Set Yourself on Fire"
The Cardigans - "Super Extra Gravity"
Fiona Apple - "When the Pawn" and "Extraordinary Machine"
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - "Show Your Bones"
KT Tunstall - "Eye to the Telescope"
Charlotte Martin - "On Your Shore" and "Veins"
Wilco - "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot"

Further proof that I have broken my Tori addiction: Last night I changed the sacred ringtone on my phone from Her "Professional Widow" to Rilo Kiley's "Portion for Foxes".

I CANNOT stress this enough. These changes and new loves DO NOT mean that Tori isn't still my number one. SHE IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE SO. And She's also the hottest. So there you go.

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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Profundity from Geraldo Rivera

"You know, it's not always the nuns that get raped; sometimes it's the strippers that get raped."

You're welcome.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Carrie's War on Flowers

Flonase tastes like flowers, and flowers taste really bad! Have you tried flowers lately? ICK! I'm at war with flowers and other blooming things like trees and grass and cats (if cats were to bloom) because they have pollen which does not agree with any part of my head. I thought I'd reached the height of sucky allergies last week when I had to buy eyedrops, for crying out loud! EYEDROPS! FOR ALLERGIES! But I was wrong. Last night, my throat started hurting pretty badly, and any sore throat feels like knives sliding gently with evil glee down my respiratory tract, namely the pharynx, larynx, and trachea (the correct order of anatomical structures following the nares). There is no other pain that will make me cry like a baby, and I've broken multiple bones and have been punched in the nose. I was up all night wishing I had a jar of honey that I could have poured down my throat and pretending I had the guts to cut out my throat. At 2 AM, I thought about going to Walgreens to get a bottle of chloroseptic to pour down there, but that stuff's really bad for you. So, I suffered and planned to get up early this morning to go to the doctor's office. Normally, I'd stick it out, but since the MCAT is on Saturday, I figured that this isn't the week to be sick. I got a shot in the butt and a full medicine cabinet. Here is a picture of my battle wound dressing from my War on Flowers. I swear there is a dot of blood on there somewhere!

And here is my arsenal to defend, offend, in my War on Flowers:

I think I'm going to be okay, but I really want to get rid of the flower taste in my mouth.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Shout Part 2

My mom showed me this t-shirt in a store circular today. I couldn't resist buying it for him.

Pop quiz!

The scene in this picture is:
A. Davis' impression of Scott Stapp
B. Davis' impression of Jesus on the cross
C. Aren't those the same thing?
D. No.

Davis goes to daycare at a church, and since this week is Easter, they've been learning about Jesus' death and resurrection. Davis acted the story out for us.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

FFF = Fabulously Foxy Friend, AKA Triple F.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Je mange de la poutine.
Tu manges de la poutine.
Il/Elle/On mange de la poutine.
Nous mangeons de la poutine.
Vous mangez de la poutine.
Ils/Elles mangent de la poutine.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

We'll stand and deliver Be strong and laugh and Shout, shout, shout, Shout at the devil

The coolest 3-year-old I know!