Saturday, February 11, 2006

Y'all, I went to Wal-Mart tonight to buy some volleyballs for a tournament tomorrow, and I WALKED RIGHT UP TO A CASHIER WITHOUT WAITING IN LINE!!! Can you believe that?! I never thought it possible. And she wasn't even just opening up her line! It's the most amazing thing that's happened in weeks. WAL-MART!

Last weekend, I coined a new term: "to TV." It is a verb (but it can be converted into an adjective), and it comes from scenes in TV shows where, usually, 2 people are talking about another person who is no more than 5 feet away and couldn't possibly miss the conversation about them that is in no way being whispered or masked from the object person. For example, Billy, Angela and Tina are sitting on the couch watching a game, when Tina has a strong desire to tell Angela about seeing Billy groping some girl at the movies the night before and he was slobbering all over the place like a Great Dane or something. Tina gets Angela to go to the back of the room (5 feet away) to tell her, all the while Billy is sitting there on the couch (I could gleek* on him, he's so close!) not hearing word one of the conversation. These scenes always get on my nerves because HE'S RIGHT THERE!!! You know what I'm talking about?

Okay...so...Last weekend I went with my friends, the Browns, to Shreveport to play. Sunday, Tara and I were in Old Navy looking at purses or something when this girl walked by. I instantly recognized her as a girl we went to high school with, but we didn't get along at all. Also, there's a whole history that explains our disdain. So, I immediately did the urgent yell whisper, "TARA! TARA! LOOK!" Tara looked and turned back to me with a look of evil glee on her face. (HOW OLD ARE WE, Y'ALL, ACTING LIKE 3-YEAR OLDS?!) So we kind of get in this stealth position behind nothin', starin' at the girl, talkin' about her grey hair (We are flawless, thank you!), wonderin' if that was her third husband with her, and SHE IS FIVE FEET AWAY! But she doesn't acknowledge us, and not taking notice = not hearing, apparently. We were so TV, y'all! We were TVing out all up in that place! So the girl and her companion left the store. We rushed to the windows, NOSES TO THE GLASS, to see which car they were getting into. On the passenger window, it said, "I am the bride." Husband number 3, at least. On the rear window, it said, "Just married!" And on another window was "Git 'er done!" What part of the sticks do you have to be from that that is an acceptable get-away-car slogan? Gross!

gleek n : to project saliva directly from one's saliva glands at a nearby target, usu., another person

4 Comments:

At 09:34, Blogger April said...

I can't believe someone else knows the term gleek!! That's hilarious.

I also get annoyed at the whole 5-feet-away thing. Very soap opera-y.

I wouldn't have the guts to be snide so loudly. Oh, I'd be snide, but in my passive-aggressive sort of way. :)

 
At 10:58, Blogger metamorphose said...

Oh gleek is so old school! It would be interesting to see if there was another word for gleek....hmmmm....

Even so, funny. I've always hated TVing. They'd always do it on Friends. Boo.

And nothing is so rewarding than seeing your archnemesis from high school getting in a car with "Git 'er done" on it. Ha ha!

 
At 23:37, Blogger Rachel said...

Oh my gosh! I walked right up to the Wal-Mart line tonight, too! Armageddon must be upon us.

 
At 16:52, Blogger AzĂșcar said...

I was going to say that it was a sign of the apocalypse, but Rachel beat me to it.

Instead I will say that I've tried to TV people quite a few times because it looks so fun.

 

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