Thursday, September 01, 2005

"It's a good thing they ain't got basements in New Orleans cuz some dumbass woulda went in there 'n drowned". (said with a thick hick accent)

I'm surprised the person who said that in one of my classes this week didn't throw a no in there between got and basements. I can't stand the girl who said this, and this insensitive comment didn't help her much either. I realize that some of the people who stayed in New Orleans did so because they "weathered Camille", and that is a little senseless, but you don't say things like that when about half of the class is from New Orleans and many of them STILL HADN'T HEARD FROM SOME FAMILY MEMBERS!!! WHAT A FREAK?! WHY IS SHE STILL ALIVE?! I WOULD HAVE MAULED HER LIKE A WILD BEAST HAD I BEEN FROM NEW ORLEANS!!! GAH! Another thing she has going against her is that she has a thick hick accent, and I really do hate it.

Okay...on to less violent things...

I have to tell y'all about cell biology. I used to be really excited about this class, but then I met the professor. He is truly one of the most annoying people in the state...just behind the insensitive hick. The first day of class, I noticed that he had a horrible habit usually had by teenage girls and stupid boys. He has a filler word that he says ALL. THE. TIME. Check that...he has filler WORDS PLURAL! He was reading the syllabus and he kept asking us, "Okay?" "A'right?" Almost every other word was one of those two. It really started grating on my nerves; I almost went ape in there. Then, class ended, thank holy bread and fishes!

I tried to think of solutions to this "problem". Changing the class was not an option because he is the only person teaching it right now. I thought that it would require too much effort to ignore him, and why should I be losing energy over this. So, I decided to write him an anonymous note to tell him what an enormous goober he is and couldn't he have left the fillers with his high school graduation? I even decided that I would take a tally on how many times he said "Okay." and "A'right." (Sometimes they're questions and sometimes they're statements.) A classmate pointed out, as I was making my tally graph, that I should keep track of the number of times he says, "Uh/um". (They're the same thing.) So I did it. Are you ready for the numbers, internet? This is what I did: The class lasts for 75 minutes. I kept record of the number of times he said those three words for the first 20 minutes of class. I then waited 20 minutes and continued scoring for 17 minutes longer so that I would have a record of half of the class time.

The results, an approximation for a 75 minute class period, are these:
A'right./A'right? - 110
uh/um - 172
Okay./Okay? - 316, by far his favorite word of all time!
During the time I was counting words, I also noticed that he favored the word, obviously, quite a bit.

Now if I may, I would like to give you some of his notes and translate them for you:
"Okay. A'right? Um...okay. Uh...obviously a'right." That means "Obviously, you know that condensation occurs during polymerisation."

Another example:
"Uh...okay? A'right. Obviously. Um...okay. Um...uh...a'right?" This means "Fluorescent microscopy is obviously used to visualize cellular components."

I haven't been able to attach "Um/uh", "okay", or "a'right" to any specific words. They seem to mean many things. However, obviously always means obviously. Weird, I know.

So...I still haven't given him the anonymous letter. I need to do that soon. I will surely let you know how it goes.


At 12:34, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yargh. I've had some annoying profs, too, but that takes the cake. I had a Russian chem prof who'd say before every quiz, "Okay, stuuudents. Any queshions? No queshions? No queshions? No? Aaaariighht---QUESHION? No? No queshion? Aaaariighhhht."
*read with heavy russian accent

At 18:06, Blogger kristenlibrarian said...

I have a co-worker who always moans and then says, "Okay." Kind of like - "Mmmmmmmmmokay" in a really slow, nasal, annoying voice. She must end each sentence with it or if there is a pause in the conversation she'll throw that in. She only works one day a week, but I still can't stand her. Also, she has a long, greasy, gray ponytail. *shudder* Stinky!


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