Thursday, September 29, 2005

UPDATE: So, Mili and I are getting along very well. We've gone out together the last two mornings (this being one of them). I've learned that shifting really is a good thing to know. I know she sat in her room all night that first night laughing to herself, wishing she could ring a friend to tell them how I had ridden her all the way home in the HIGHEST (read: HARDEST) GEAR that first day on a bike since my pre-teens! She laughed so hard, I know it! Anyway, this morning before I hopped on, I was not aware that my bum hurt. As soon as my butt hit the saddle, I jumped right back up. This girl needs some bike know, the ones with the padding. I suffered through it this morning. Also, I think I might know what genital mutilation must feel like. When I got off the bike yesterday morning, and for a slight moment afterward today, there were pins and needles and sharp rocks stabbing and cutting away at um...(I don't think I can say clitoris in front of my mom. How old am I? How much older will I be this Sunday? I am so mature.)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

I apologize for the sorry state of these photos, but the only digital camera I have is on my phone.

Photo #1: Mili. It was dark outside, so it's difficult to see what color she is. That's because she's also silver.

Photo #2: The catalog photo.

Photo #3: Rich Whitey's battle scars.

Dear Mili,

Today was the first day we met. I remember looking at a bike catalog, and saying, "That's the one. I want her." I sat in anticipation for weeks waiting for the papers to go through or whatever was taking so long...waiting for you to come into my life, to make me a better person, completing part of me that went bust so long ago. You are my miracle, Mili...Milagros.

However, I can already tell that we are going to have a few clashes. Even today, for example, when I picked you up, you were already ordering me around, making me sweat under your stressful command. I didn't think I had ordered a task master, but there you go taking charge as if you'd been here all this if this were your domain. You even went limp as we were going down the street and made me get off and give you a whatfor in front of all of those passersby. You embarrassed me today with you obstinate disregard for my wishes to get you home without greasing myself up so I could go out with friends and leave you chained to your you'd be there waiting for me when I got home.

Listen, Mili, I want us to work. I want us to get along, and I want us to form a dependent and loving relationship. I want us to be able to go on long outings together without the kind of mess that happened on this our first day together. You are beautiful and charming. (On our way home today, two people stopped to compliment me on my catalog choice.) I hope that we can be patient with each other long enough to bring out the other good qualities in the both of us. I can't wait for that to happen.

With a soon-to-be-growing love and fondness,


P.S. When I get home tonight, we can spend a little time together talking, letting me look at your curves, and taking pics.

Monday, September 26, 2005

My new favorite website: The Superficial

"I know a lot of people think that this marriage is creepy because she's 15 years older than him, but those people are just stupid. Everyone knows that only parts of Demi Moore are older than Ashton Kutcher. Most of the other parts are actually way younger. If you think about it, he's sort of marrying three 14-year-old girls who just happen to be grafted onto a 42-year-old's body. And even though that sounds gross, you have to admit that it's kind of hot too. Kind of really hot. And, okay, maybe a little gross. Actually, yeah, mostly just gross. I don't know what I was thinking."

I just want to take this moment to bash LSU football. JaMarcus Russell, you suck! Joseph Addai, catch the effing ball in a clutch! Offensive line, learn what an offensive line is supposed to do. Coach Miles, you are no Nick Saban, and you need to lose the white hat. You look like a dork. Also, if you do not help your offense to accomplish what I've told them they need to do and maybe start the backup QB, who is really good, (I gave no counsel to Russell. I'm not sure what I can tell him except he just needs to quit and to change his name to a real name.), then you, sir, are going to be looking for a new job by season's end. And I don't want to hear all of the hurricane B.S. Baton Rouge just got a coupla good kite-flyin' days. Get those boys straight and show me what SEC football is all about. Okay...1-2-3-BREAK!

Friday, September 23, 2005

GUESS WHAT I GOT TODAY!!! What did I say I wanted for my birthday? A fridge full of coke and water? YESSSSSS! It's not my birthday yet, but my dad brought the stuff over today. Also, my sister quit her job and started at beauty school last week, so she's moving back in with my parents while she's doing that. She has all of her furniture stuffed into one room at their house, but they need a place to put an entertainment center with a flat-screen TV with DVD player! I got the benefit of that, too! So now my room is a pleasant place to be, and I will drink so much more water. I'm too lazy to walk the length of the house to get a glass of water. Now I have bottles of it less than 10 feet away from me. HEAVEN! Now if we can get rid of these curtains and wallpaper border... 23-09-05_2004

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Look, if y'all haven't read Go Fug Yourself for the last couple of days, please GO NOW. I just spent the last 20 minutes laughing hysterically and hiccupping (due to the hysterical laughing). It's britches-wettingly funny.

Monday, September 19, 2005

I had a crappy day today. I wrecked Rich Whitey. I made her crash into the back of an ugly Pontiac GrandPrix. I'm very sad. Rich Whitey now has ugly pox marks. They aren't that big, but they are there. She doesn't deserve this. She may have to go in for some cosmetic surgery before all the other, less fortunate cars start making fun of her saying things like, "Hey, your French flag license plate is looking about as limp as its countrymen's wrists! Honk! Honk! Honk!" (Because she wears a French flag on the front, you see.) I would never willfully put her in such a situation. Just one brief moment of distraction... I'm sorry, Rich Whitey.

P.S. I did not give her that name.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Although it's been two weeks since my participation in Tori Amos' tour ended, the tour really finally ended last night, and I feel a sort of sadness. Depression will ensue. Like, I think I have some sort of Post-Tori Tour Disorder, or PTTD as I'm calling it. I'm not sure what can be done about it. I know there are at least four more tour "bootlegs" that she is releasing sometime in the near future. I have that possibility to anticipate. But there are no more TV appearances, no more books or magazines (probably), and no new music for maybe a year and a half. It's depressing. I don't think I want to go to school this week. It's too much to think of getting out of bed and readying myself for the day when there will be no concert later that night to obsess over. Did I spell obsess correctly? It looks odd. I'm too depressed to look it up. I think I'm just going to stay in bed all day tomorrow and watch "Welcome to Sunny Florida", listen to my iTunes library, and buy tubes and tubes of cranberry, fruit punch, and strawberry lipgloss from Sephora. Did I mention that my birthday is in less than two weeks now?

What WAS that thing I saw on the Emmy's?

I went to friends' house tonight to finish watching the second season of Nip/Tuck so we would be ready for the season premiere on Tuesday night. In between episodes, we would switch over to the Emmy's to see what was happening. Y'all, I saw one of the top 10 weirdest things I HAVE EVER SEEN! Did you watch it?! Did you see William Shatner and that chica "singing" the Star Trek theme song?! W.E.I.R.D. I felt like I was in some alternate universe. Was there really a lady on the TV screen belting out that "song"? Why wasn't she wearing pointy ears? She should have been. How did she feel while William Shatner was only inches away staring at her with a strange grin on his face the entire time she was singing? DId she want to laugh? Did she want to cry? I, personally, would have wanted to laugh, although, I was sitting on friends' couch my mouth agape wondering what in the world I was watching. Did she get money for that? How did she land this job? What did she really think about it? When she finished did she think it was as weird as I? I'm so...I don't know. I don't know how I feel about it. I don't even know what that was. It seems like something David Letterman would have on his show, and the grinder girl would be grinding her breastplate with the sander the whole time that chica would be singing. Then Dave and Paul would decided if it was anything. I'm not sure they could come up with an answer to that question. I'm so excited for the season premiere on Tuesday night. What's going to happen to Christian Troy? He's so beautiful. I hope the carver didn't make him ugly.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

I know it's way past time for me to update, but NOTHING of note has been happening around here. School is keeping me so busy. I had my first round of tests this week, and they totally sucked. I have to wait a few more days to find out how I did. Physics labs for 6 hours in a row is kinda rough too, but there are some students in them that make me laugh. One group has two Greek boys and a Puerto Rican boy. They are hilarious, and one of the Greeks, Adamos, is overly flirtatious and likes to ask me about 5 million questions per class (the other Greek is Athos). I admit that he's kind of cute. There is also another boy who had long hair last week. I had a crush on him. He had such a cute face and he wore sleeveless shirts that showed great, proportionate muscles. This week, he came to class, and he had cut his hair. I was a little more than slightly put off by it.

I ordered my bike yesterday. Only a few more days before I unveil her to the internet, but I will tell you her name: Milagros, but I will call her Mili (not Milly, the way you would pronounce willy-nilly, but Mili the way you would say "me" and "Lee"..."ME Lee"). That's all I will say for now on the subject. I wish I new where all the stickers of santos that I collected on my mission are. Mili will so want una santa stuck on her somewhere.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

1. I saw an interesting thing this morning. I was driving down the street, and a little over a block away, I saw what I thought was a cat followed by two kittens crossing the road. So I slowed down so a) I could stop if they decided to run back across the street and b) so I could see them. When I got to where they were, I saw that it was a mama racoon and two babies. The babies were cute. As I got closer to them, I watched the mama turn around, tell them to stop, and then she went and stood in between them and me to protect them. She eyeballed me as I continued down the road. When I was a safe distance away, she continued on her way with the two in tow.

2. I'm so sick of going to people's houses and all they do is watch Katrina news. STOP IT, PEOPLE!

Sunday, September 04, 2005

I had a great weekend. The concerts in Austin and Houston were fabulous, and I finally got to hear a few of my most favorite Tori songs that I had been yearning to see her play, Caught a Lite Sneeze, Space Dog, and Baker, Baker. The Houston show was extra-spectacular because of the AMAZING seats I had. I could see her brachialis jumping out of her upper arm as she was pounding on the piano. She seemed to be having a lot of fun last night. She interacted with the crowd and responded to our shoutings quite a bit, adding a lot of laughs to a night that was dedicated to New Orleans. (I'd say it was dedicated to the victims of Hurricane Katrina, but the House of the Rising Sun IS in New Orleans, and she sang other songs that made reference to the city. Before singing House, she sang a little improvised lyric, "She will rise again.") The concerts were very satisfying. She played a lot of songs that I would normally skip when they would start playing on my players, but they were really great live. They were definitely prettier.

SO...I'm so sick of watching the news about the hurricane aftermath because now the reports are just filled with verbal abuse toward the government, and while I don't think Bush is the sharpest knife in the drawer, I don't think he deserves all of the criticism he's been getting either. Katrina was an awesome disaster. Although I know what it's like to look down on a mess and not know where to start in the clean-up process (Yes, several hurricanes have hit my bedroom in times past.), I can in no way fathom what the men in charge felt when the storm was gone and they could see that devastation. Of course, the first thing to do is figure out how to get the people out, but what are the rescuers supposed to do when they try to evacuate people and bring in food and they get shot at by the thugs down there? It's an impossible situation for our leaders as far as criticism goes. More troops are going to be sacrificed and gangsters are going to be killed as long as the lawlessness continues. I'm glad that almost all of the people have been evacuated now.

Saturday night on CNN I saw Celine Dion shouting and crying about how the government isn't doing enough and it is shooting at the people who "want to be saved". I wish she'd get her skinny little ass down there and try it herself instead of carry on like a freakshow, talking about things she doesn't know about. And don't even get me started on Kanye West's little verbal vomiting the other night. I'd get labels put on me for sure. In fact, I want all of the celebrities who aren't risking their baby-soft, callous-free skin to help the gulf-coast residents pick up the pieces to shut up!

This thing is so heart-breaking that I can hardly even talk about it to my friends without choking up. So many lives were lost, so much livelihood is gone, Louisiana's biggest and most beautiful city (one of the most beautiful in the country, in my opinion) is now third-world, crime has soared causing us to be prisoners in our own homes once the sun goes down, and there is an overall feeling of "Where do we even begin?" It's so over-whelming, even for us who are "sitting pretty" in the part of the state that was untouched by Katrina.

The beautiful thing is that the loss has unified a lot of people. We have some little communities forming here that have some extraordinary people in them. Some have put their wares together and set up their little village in an RV park, and during the day they go volunteer at the shelters themselves. The support from the area communities is amazing. Despite all of the negative things the storm has brought us, the good in the people has been manifested. It's inspiring.

I encourage y'all who aren't anywhere near here to make a donation to the Red Cross. There are several donation links to follow on that page. And for those few of you who are here, join me at the shelters this week and go with me to Mississippi this next weekend.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

"It's a good thing they ain't got basements in New Orleans cuz some dumbass woulda went in there 'n drowned". (said with a thick hick accent)

I'm surprised the person who said that in one of my classes this week didn't throw a no in there between got and basements. I can't stand the girl who said this, and this insensitive comment didn't help her much either. I realize that some of the people who stayed in New Orleans did so because they "weathered Camille", and that is a little senseless, but you don't say things like that when about half of the class is from New Orleans and many of them STILL HADN'T HEARD FROM SOME FAMILY MEMBERS!!! WHAT A FREAK?! WHY IS SHE STILL ALIVE?! I WOULD HAVE MAULED HER LIKE A WILD BEAST HAD I BEEN FROM NEW ORLEANS!!! GAH! Another thing she has going against her is that she has a thick hick accent, and I really do hate it.

Okay...on to less violent things...

I have to tell y'all about cell biology. I used to be really excited about this class, but then I met the professor. He is truly one of the most annoying people in the state...just behind the insensitive hick. The first day of class, I noticed that he had a horrible habit usually had by teenage girls and stupid boys. He has a filler word that he says ALL. THE. TIME. Check that...he has filler WORDS PLURAL! He was reading the syllabus and he kept asking us, "Okay?" "A'right?" Almost every other word was one of those two. It really started grating on my nerves; I almost went ape in there. Then, class ended, thank holy bread and fishes!

I tried to think of solutions to this "problem". Changing the class was not an option because he is the only person teaching it right now. I thought that it would require too much effort to ignore him, and why should I be losing energy over this. So, I decided to write him an anonymous note to tell him what an enormous goober he is and couldn't he have left the fillers with his high school graduation? I even decided that I would take a tally on how many times he said "Okay." and "A'right." (Sometimes they're questions and sometimes they're statements.) A classmate pointed out, as I was making my tally graph, that I should keep track of the number of times he says, "Uh/um". (They're the same thing.) So I did it. Are you ready for the numbers, internet? This is what I did: The class lasts for 75 minutes. I kept record of the number of times he said those three words for the first 20 minutes of class. I then waited 20 minutes and continued scoring for 17 minutes longer so that I would have a record of half of the class time.

The results, an approximation for a 75 minute class period, are these:
A'right./A'right? - 110
uh/um - 172
Okay./Okay? - 316, by far his favorite word of all time!
During the time I was counting words, I also noticed that he favored the word, obviously, quite a bit.

Now if I may, I would like to give you some of his notes and translate them for you:
"Okay. A'right? Um...okay. Uh...obviously a'right." That means "Obviously, you know that condensation occurs during polymerisation."

Another example:
"Uh...okay? A'right. Obviously. Um...okay. Um...uh...a'right?" This means "Fluorescent microscopy is obviously used to visualize cellular components."

I haven't been able to attach "Um/uh", "okay", or "a'right" to any specific words. They seem to mean many things. However, obviously always means obviously. Weird, I know.

So...I still haven't given him the anonymous letter. I need to do that soon. I will surely let you know how it goes.

Y'all, I am such a dork. I just checked to see what kind of tickets were left for Tori's concert in Houston. There were some seats FRONT AND CENTER!! What insane Tori fan could pass those up? Not this one. I don't even care if I have to eat the cost of the first pair I bought. I'm SO! EXCITED!