Friday, July 15, 2005

My current university has the WORST library hours in the history of university library hours. If you know of a university library with worse hours, internet, you let me know. In the Summer our library closes at 10 PM in the evening Sunday through Thursday, 4:30 PM on Fridays, and 2 PM Saturdays. It's like they don't want anybody to study ever.

So there I was, sitting in the library, studying physics for a test that would be as easy as defining gravity, and staring at the back of a guy with a wooden leg named Smith (actually, I think it was titanium) when an announcement over the PA system notified us, "It is now 9:35. The ULM library will be closed in 25 minutes." I looked at my phone to synchronize my time with the library's so I would know when to leave. So I continued to study electric fields and capacitors, secretly wishing I weren't attending a pretend university.

Twenty minutes later, I started gathering my scraps of paper and physics-y type things. I took one more look at the back of the guy with the leg, and I left. I noticed as I was walking toward the library exit that there appeared to be no one else in the building. I pushed on the door, but I was jammed. The doors were locked...all of them. I thought, "Crap...one of my dreams is coming true right this minute, and I have no desire to stay here all night and study TONIGHT!" (Haven't you ever wanted to be locked in a library all night to study? Am I a nerd?) I turned around, and saw the face of the guy with the leg. He said, "Oh no! Are we locked in?" When I answered in the affirmative, he said, "Well follow me. I know how to get out because I've been locked in before. It requires making the fire alarm go off, but no one ever answers it." So we were walking toward the exit, and he said, "Couldn't you just go for a long massage right now and some relaxation?" Stupidly, I just answered, "Yeah." MY ULTIMATE FANTASY COULD HAVE COME TRUE LAST NIGHT!!! A MAN...ME...AND AN EMPTY LIBRARY WITH OH SO MANY STACKS!!!

Being a good girl sometimes sucks. Sure he was missing a leg, but he was HOTT! When I got in my car, I felt like kicking myself, but it's hard to do while sitting inside my car. (Note to self: Go to the library more often at night. Sit on the first floor on the bayou side. Find pegleg. Get locked in. Repent. Also, you would never do this.)

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