Monday, June 27, 2005

A couple of things:

1. I have absolutely hated driving around lately. It seems like everyone has forgotten how to do it: how to turn right on red, how to work a 4-way stop, how to work a turn-about (They never knew how to work one of those in the first place.), how to go when the light switches to green, how to turn left when cars are REALLY FAR AWAY AND THE ONLY WAY THEY CAN HIT YOU IS IF YOU STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR TURN AND SWITCH THE CAR OFF AND WAIT THERE FOR 25 SECONDS TO TAKE THE HIT BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IDIOT, how to use the acceleration lane (See note following "how to work a turn-about".), how to go at least 50 on HWY 165 (It's not a residential street, folks!), etc. I could go on and on all night long. It bothers me to drive around when people who don't know how to do those things are on the road. When I am going somewhere, people, I just want to get there. Get out of my way, and don't hamper me. Last week was exceptionally bad because it was the time of the month when I am hormonally allowed to be excessively violent and agitated, and if I had had a gun in my car, flesh wounds would have been had. While I was driving around, I even took the time to plan out my defense. It was all laid out in my head, and I would be free today, and there would be fewer idiots on the road.

Today, I went to lunch with Connie and Jamie. Our lunch is one of the highlights of our week. When we were returning to the office after eating, we took a different path than usual because I wanted to show them the monstrosity of a house that is being built right next to the university. It is said that it will be the largest house in all of Louisiana, and I must say that the only single family dwellings I have seen larger than this are castles. Anyway, the path we were taking to get there... There was construction that I had forgotten about, so before I reached the road work, I decided to turn left onto another road. There was a person in front of me also waiting to turn left. He/she was sitting there at the stop line instead of GETTING OUT INTO THE LANE so we wouldn't be trapped by another light. He/she just sat there, and I kept trying to coax him/her by inching forward, almost touching the bumper. He/she didn't take the hint even though I saw him/her looking back in his/her mirror. (You may be sensing that the sex of the individual was undetectable by looking at its face.) So there came a long pause in traffice, and as soon as the break started, I laid on my horn. There was no beep, beep, beeping, but full-on blaring of the horn. He/she pulled out a little further but did not go. I wanted to scream. I think I actually did. Finally, a longer pause came, and he/she went.

Everyone was relieved that we were finally moving again and that the moron had turned in a different direction than our path was headed. Jamie said the funniest thing I have heard all day: "I swear, drivin' around nowadays is like runnin' the Special Olympics." That killt me. I had to stop for a moment to dam up the pee. Seriously, though...that may be a harsh and insensitive thing to say, but it is accurate.

2. That's my baby girl, Mollie.

3. That isn't what the second thing was really going to be, but I got so emotionally involved in that story that I forgot what the real second thing I wanted to tell you is. So I will tell you of another idea I had today. When I left class this morning, I called a friend to tell her that I wanted a shirt that says, "It's so hard being this smart." She laughed heartily and responded by saying that I'd probably have to make myself one because no one is smart enough to have already made it. She's probably right.

I'll tell you why it's hard being this smart. I HAVE to take this physics class. There is no way around it. I mean, I could probably take an upper-level physics to satisfy the requirement, but I have never, ever taken a physics class before. I would be missing the most basic elements. I have learned, though, that those most basic elements are some of the most basic elements of life. Gravity, for example,'s the force of the Earth on us. It's what keeps us on the ground. It's what pulls a ball back down to the ground after it's thrown into the air. It's what gives us weight. Easy as pie? Apparently not. I suffer every morning from 9:15 to 10:45 and every Tuesday-Thursday from 1:00 to 4:00. Normally, I would just skip class and learn the material on my own to avoid the daily torture, but ULM has THE. STRICTEST. attendance policy in the world. Professors actually call roll everyday, and if a student misses three classes, their name is sent to the department head. The student must then meet with the department head to discuss how those days are going to be made up. LAME! LAME! LAME! So, I'm trapped...forced to swim in a sea of stupidity...and it's really slimey in there.


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