Sunday, April 03, 2005

Monkey Business 1: In the Jungle

Two Springs ago, I went with a study abroad program to Senegal (in West Africa). We went out to the hot, eastern part of the country for almost two weeks, and the first place we stayed at while out there was guarded by monkeys. In the morning when we left our huts, there would be a baboon sitting outside our door making sure nobody messed with us. I pity the fool who tried to pull shenanigans while a baboon was outside our door! When we ate breakfast, we paid the monkeys in bread or fruit or whatever the monkeys could run, hop, and grab while our backs were turned. To the layperson, it looked like they were stealing from us, but we totally meant for them to have that bread.

One night most of us had decided we had had enough of no air-conditioning in a 120 degree place. The following morning, we would pack up and head to what I call an oasis in the middle of God-forsaken nothing. A few of us got up early because the real entertainment while staying at the place with no air-conditioning was our guard-monkeys. A couple of friends and I went to sit up by the pool (swamp in a basin) to watch the monkeys run around. I was filming. I was watching these two monkeys playing a game of tag, I thought it was cute, and I stayed on them. Seconds later, the boy monkey showed us what it meant to tag the girl monkey. He tagged her alright, and I have it on camera. If I had some cool editing program, I would set the footage to a techno beat because it was mechanical and hard and funny. We were laughing so hard, and the other girl there with us told me that I should stop filming. NO WAY! I was making my foray into monkey porn right there! That video got passed around the bus quite a bit during our trip to the oasis. Sickos!

Monkey Business Take 2: In the Zoo

I went to the zoo today with friends. It had been well over a decade since I had visited our LOVELY zoo. I admit now that there have been many improvements to our zoo since the last time I visited. Our pink flamingos are actually PINK!

The monkey part is always my favorite part of any zoo. They do funny things and make funny sounds. So, there was an area with two smaller monkeys, and one was spitting in his hand and rubbing it on the tree. I don't know what this does, but I wanted him to stop doing it. I mean, how childish is that, spitting on your hand and rubbing it on the tree? So I just stared at him. When he noticed that I was staring at him, I started rocking from side to side. He started bearing his teeth. Then he went down and whispered something to his pal, as if I would understand him if he spoke in haut voix. Both of them came over to the cage as close as they could get to me and again showed me their teeth. I don't know if they were hissing or anything. I imagine they were. (There was also glass and a walkway between me and the cage.) But one was getting so worked up that he started to um..."help himself" while I was staring at him. Yes, he was an exhibitionist. I called my friends over because they were still staring at a huge python. They were laughing, and I was getting the monkeys more aggravated. My friends finally had to force me to leave because there was a big crowd of kids making their way toward these monkeys. Apparently, that kind of behavior isn't suitable for children.

So, I think I'm now, like, a monkey whore or something. I don't know what it would be called. Anyway, I think monkeys are all sex-crazed perverts.


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