Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Wow! The following stuff is from the blog of a girl I've met once, and I have no idea how I found it. But it's pretty damn funny for obvious reasons...obvious to anyone who loves good grammar, that is, and appropriate punctuation, and other things. It's my new favorite blog just for those delights. I'm hesitant to post the address to the blog here because I don't want to be linked to her blog where she can track back to me. I have to work with her mother.

"Wow!It is two days till I leave to move to BYU-Idaho!I have been so busy packing my stuff up!I have went through most of my stuff I am packing my clothes now!Kinda briefing you on the past few weeks!I had Gal bladder surgery!Last week!Everything went great!I feel so much better now!I And I never hurt after the surgery!But Thursday was my last day at kayes!Thank goodness!I needed a break from working!And i needed those days to start packing!I didn't realize I had so many clothes! I am so excited to go up there!I a ready to meet roommates!And be out on my own! I had a good Christmas!i got a video camcorder !brandi and Courtney did to!so we can send videos back and forth!well i still have so much work to do!I am having a party Wednesday!and leaving Thursday!"

She makes me think of Elaine from Seinfeld.

"Today i cleaned house!it needed it!but anyways i just chilled around the house all day!watching tv,folding clothes,and washing dishes!i have been trying to situate my stuff since now i share a room with my courtney!brandi mixed all my stuff together!but today was the choirs concert!it went really really good!i think i did great and it was so awesome to see all the different people there to see me!Mike sherelyn and janice bethany!and my family i felt very great!but anyways now i am tired and off to bed!Did i tell about me going to the planetarium a few days ago with janice!we watched the movie van helsing!It was a great movie!Janice is so kool to hang with i wish we could hang out more often!But anyways i am off to bed!I hope i remeber to go vote tommorow!!"

And...

"Interests: I love music!!I plan to be on broadway someday!!Right now i am attending TECH!I am just taking one class which is Private Voice Lessons!I am taking from Dr. Laura Thompson!!She is so great!!She is preparing me for BYU-I auditions to get into the choir!!I am so excited!!
Expertise: I can sing very very good!!I llove computers!!I dont know why i just love surfing the net!!most people think i am weird but oh well!I am just like every one of you subscribed to Xanga!!LOL
Occupation: Student"


I have read entire novels with fewer exclamation points than these three paragraphs. And what's with the random capitalization? "broadway" but "Private Voice Lessons". I don't get it. I really hope she "can sing very very good" because she ain't gonna get very far with that foreign language she's speakin'.

And has the girl ever even heard of a conjunction? You know, those words that combine two sentences or phrases? I feel like I am reading the writing of a child. It is very very bad!She hurts my head!She live in the country!She don't knowno better!That is why she go to school!I hope byui Teaches Her Something!!

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Today is my sister's birthday, and we went to a Chinese restaurant for lunch to celebrate. At the end of the meal, we got the requisite fortune cookies, and yes, we still play the childish game where we tack on "in bed" at the end of the fortune. (That game NEVER gets old when the right "fortunes" come along.) My sister's roommate, Kelly, got the best fortune that I had ever before heard for this game. "Constant grinding..." I was hooked at the two opening words. I knew it was going to be awesome. Okay, here it is en entière: "Constant grinding can turn an iron rod into a needle...in bed." We were all coughing up beef and broccoli at that point. It was great.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

I had all of these letters that I wrote while living in France cluttering up my email, so I decided to add them to my blog. So if any of you have any interest whatsoever about all of that, they are in my archives before March 2004. Don't hurt yourself getting over there.

Saturday, December 25, 2004



My Christmas booty:

2 bars Milka Tendre Frisson (mmm...)
2 pairs pyjamas
large CD case
Napoleon Dynamite (I have now seen the movie 8 times for those keeping tally.)
Best Buy gift card ($30)
Sarah McLachlan Afterglow Live DVD
a very large, decorative square plate (and iron stand)
Lemony Snicket's calendar of Unfortunate Events
a pack of 30 postcards by Anne Taintor. (possibly my favorite gift)
the U2 iPod (probably my favorite gift)

MERII KURISUMASU!

This afternoon while flying home from my short long trip to San José, I was reading an article in the American Way magazine that is on all American Airline flights. It was an interview with Owen Wilson about living in Rome while filming The Life Aquatic. The first sentence of the third paragraph had me laughing, imagining funny things.

Misplaced modifier of the day: "We're sitting in Wilson's house in Santa Monica, situated on a leafy glen off a major Califonia thoroughfare, which the actor has decorated with black-and-white photographs, books, and a boar's head."

I had a male flight attendant who was...interesting to say the least. His last name is Lovelady. I don't think I could go on living with that name.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

I'VE MADE THE HONOR ROLL AGAIN!!! YAY!!! For the first time since probably junior high school, I've kicked ass two semesters (one of those "semesters" being the two summer terms put together) in a row! And, okay, "honor roll" is not what we call it in college. We don't get bumper stickers or anything like that or a free breakfast at Shoneys'. But I will be on the president's list for the second time in a row. I'm a little upset that I got a B in that chemistry lab, but when we get down to it, that course was only worth 1 credit, and a B is still "above average". I got 11 credits of A to 1 credit of B. Bringing the grade ratio at my current university to 19 hours of A : 1 hour of B. I really do hate that B. I really do. I know I just got done saying that it doesn't matter, but I'm still mad about it.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Today I had this week's fifth and final exam, and it. was. a. joke! Before the week started, I would tell people that I had a test in calculus and finals in chemistry lab, microbiology, microbiology lab, and aerobics, and people would chuckle and say something like, "Oooh...an aerobics final. What do you have to do? Aerobicise? Har...har..." I would think, "Stupid!" and then I would say something like, "You don't even know! I have a PACKET of stuff I have to read, and she could just pick any random sentence to test us on."

So I read through the material given us by the teacher, and I made NOTE.CARDS! of the stuff I deemed important or test-questionable. I got to class today, and when she passed out the test, I just flew through the first page, which was fill-in-the-blank, but there was one blank I couldn't remember the answer to. So I just kept going. When I got to the bottom of the page, there it was! ...in all of its glory...something that I hadn't seen on a test since my early high school years...A WORD BANK!!! A word bank! Can you believe it? In college? An acredited college that has a top-notch pharmacy school and nursing school? A word bank, people! So, I got all of those answers right.

A word bank...and I was just kidding when I suggested that to the teacher.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Well, after Monday's test-taking disaster, I have reaffirmed my smartness by acing three other tests. I am convinced that the disaster is not due to being ill-prepared as much as it was a horrible test. I dislike that professor greatly, and I am trying to decide when I shall rip out his blackened lungs. Tomorrow I have another test, and I will own that one, too. I will have five A's and one B. It will look stupid. I will sing "One of these things is not like the other". But that's how it will go. I guess I should just get used to it.

From the time I was about 3 until 7ish, my family lived in a shotgun duplex on the ugly side of Carrollton Ave. in New Orleans while my dad went to school. Every Saturday, my dad would take me down the block to the corner snowcone stand. New Orleans has THE BEST snowcones in the world. I don't know why they are so good, but trust me on this: they are the best.

I usually got some obnoxious, now-nausiating blend of spearmint and bubblegum because kids don't care so much about taste as they do colors. Colorful = good. I was noticing that all we had to do was go up and say, "[order]", and we would receive [order]. I don't remember money ever being involved because I'm a girl, and he's my dad. That's how it is with dads and their little girls. Anyway, ordering and receiving the order...I felt like I could go it alone.

So one day while playing outside, I told all of my friends that we were going to go get snowcones, and they followed me. We went down, we told Cleo what we wanted, and she asked me about money. I didn't know what she was talking about, so I said, "My daddy has money." We got our order, and thus started my first line of credit. I had GREAT credit when I was still in single-digit years. My debt got paid off every week by my daddy. Today, things aren't so much different. I'm not indebted to snowcones, and daddy doesn't pay it off on a weekly basis.