Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Well, I was thinking that today was going to be a great day until I decided to run by the Financial Aid office to find out why I hadn't yet been awarded my pell grant. It turns out that this time in between meeting with the f. a. (financial aid, not fat ass) counselor and now, I was termed "pell ineligible". I guess that if you already have a bachelors degree that was paid for with your own money, the government will not give you its money to further your education. I think that is a shload of hooey, but I guess that's the way it goes. I am disheartened. I was so excited that I was getting this grant and relieving myself of the stress that comes with asking dad if I can have c. $2000 for a semester of school. Now I have this new stress: do I get a student loan, or do I ask dad for c. $2000 for each semester of school? I called my mom and told her the crappy news, and she said to talk to my dad and that I shouldn't under any circumstances take out a student loan. I really hate this position I'm in now. Oh well. I'll figure it out.

On to funnier news...

Last week in the newspaper was a funny/sick/disturbing story of a man and his sister's pig. This poor pig's name is P-pie. Isn't that sweet? Austin Gullette of the hick city in the Twin Cities thought it was sweet...really sweet...almost beautiful...like men think women are beautiful...and they get turned on by women...and then nature takes its course... But P-pie is not a beautiful woman, and Austin should not have been turned on by not-a-woman. Austin was busted by his sister committing "a crime against nature" with her beloved pet, P-pie.

That. is. disgusting! And by the way, Hickville is NOT the same city as Haughty City. We are called "the twin cities", but I really think it's more like we were two brand new cities born at the same time, but it was to different parents. We're not even cousins, you see, because we just don't grease up to pork pigs (HA! not so clever...) around Haughty City. We shoot pigs. We shoot people. We loot. We beat each other up. We go gangster all up in this place, but we do not "love" pigs...or any animal, for that matter. West Monroe is inhabited by red-necked pigmolesters...except if that person is Muffy or Prudence. They are okay. They just live there to promote balance. Ursula and Pushy live over there, too, but they "love" pigs and dogs.

I apologize for the offensive language. I didn't make this shirt up, but I just think that it is apropos. And this was the shirt of the week the same week as the Austin/P-pie affair. Also, this t-shirt in no way reflects my politcal convictions. You don't have to love pigs to vote for Bush, although, some would argue that if you were a pig-lover, then you'd obviously have an excuse voting for him due to your insanity. That's what some would argue.


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