Thursday, August 19, 2004

I have a new love. His name is Money Given To Me By The Government To Go To School. It's like the best thing that has ever happened to me this week because I was expecting to have to pay for everything myself. I stopped by the financial aid office to get a short-term loan to help me out and also to find out my options for aid. Mr. Man was setting me up for a student loan, and I said, "Naw, I don't want that. What other options do I have?" So he clicked some keys and said, "Well, you are eligible for a grant for $2025 for each of the next two semesters." So I said, "Uh...I pick option B. I'll take the money." So I am sooooooooooo excited! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeehawwwwww!!! I heart money given to me that I don't have to pay back!

I get googled pretty often here. Some of the search terms that result in hitting my blog are pretty sterile, e. g., "manager and bitch." I had a "name of the day" one time, Shataka Figgins. I believe Ms. Figgins googled her own name because a few days later, "Shataka Figgins" was a search term someone used to reach me. I think it's funny when people google their own names like they are huge, important people. But then again, it could have been a former lover looking her up to find out where she is because he's sad that he let her get away. I wonder what the name must be of someone who dated a person with a name like Shataka Figgins. Jeffri'andré "Tron" Newton, maybe? That sounds pretty good.

A few days ago, I noticed a most peculiar and disturbing google search that brought someone to my blog. "Orgasm and 'Crest spinbrush'." Ewwwwwwww...sick! Some person with a jones to "clean" his/her area thinks a good way to do that is with a Crest Spinbrush. O. M. G! I use my spinbruse religiously to CLEAN MY TEETH, and when the battery is juiced up, the brush has a tendency to be rough with my gums. Sometimes they even bleed. Now, the snatch is a rather tender area. Why in THE hell would anyone want to take the brush down there?!! Holy crap! That would hurt! And was this person actually hoping to find someone online with the same hopes for the spinbrush? I'm going to go throw up now.

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