Saturday, May 29, 2004

I've been wanting to write about this for a week, but every time I sit down to do it, I don't feel like writing about it. But I'll see how I do today.

Last week before I left to go to Houston, I went bra shopping. I hate bra shopping, but I have no chest to boast of, and if I was going to wear this one shirt to the wedding, I needed SOMETHING. So I went to the mall, and I found this "cleavage enhancing" bra. It was very stiff and padded, and I thought it'd be fun to try it on...not intending to buy it. So I put it on, and oh my goodness! I knew what it was like to have boobs. It was amazing! I had a fake chest! I put on my shirt, and it was beautiful. I almost started to cry. So I walked around the store looking for other clothing items and getting a feel for the bra. I loved it. I bought it.

So I got in my car and went to Houston. When I got there, I called my friend who was getting married, and she was with her mom and sisters at a restaurant and told me to join them. I changed out of my driving clothes and put on something more going-out worthy. This included my new padded bra. I raced out the door and into my car. It was the first time I had sat down in the bra. My sitting-down posture is or hunched. The bra didn't respond well to that. It jutted out, and it was SO OBVIOUS that my bra was of the enhancing variety. So I sat straight up in my car, and that was much better. I got to the restaurant and continued my great posture, but it got to be rather uncomfortable because I'm not used to sitting that way. So I started slouching, and the bra started jutting. I was sweating bullets and vowing never to wear it again. I leaned over to my friend at some point and told her I had the mama bear of padded bras on. She laughed.

What do I do with this thing now?


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