Friday, March 12, 2004

Name of the day: Torkorian Thomas...that's not even a name!

When it gets close to lunchtime at our office, we all start asking each other what we are going to eat. All of us almost always go out somewhere to grab lunch because we aren't pre-teens anymore. We don't carry sack lunches with crust-less ham sandwiches and twinkies. No! We're too old for that.

So while shouting out names of restaurants in the area, Ursula Braunstaen, the office manager, and her front-desk working sister, Pushy Amalgam, shoot down almost every suggestion because "Ooh! I went there and asked for a turkey sandwich, and they gave me ROAST BEEF. I went home, called the manager and had that sandwich-maker fired!" Or "You mean that place out in Lakeshore that was a steak house before I tripped on their coat rack, and they had to shut down?" OR "I ordered a baked potato there one time and I bit into an amalgam filling!" Now, I know we've all gone somewhere where our order has been messed up, but an AMALGAM filling in a baked potato?! Did Billy Joe lose a filling while planting those russets?

I don't believe the sisters have ever had a pleasant restaurant experience. I won a regular sub combo from Quiznos today, and I had never eaten there before. So I asked Pushy Amalgam to tell me what's good. She gave me some suggestions and finished by saying, "Make sure they don't toast it too much. I cut my mouth up on one of their sandwiches yesterday, and it hurt so bad."

I have a name for people like her, but because my mom reads this, I won't say it.