Thursday, March 20, 2003


Hey, everybody! I have a problem this week, and I need help. Let’s pretend that people just generated out of sludge, or flowers, or mountain springs. You decide. Let’s also pretend that there were no women, the reason why people would be generated. If this were the case, this whole world would be covered in pee! It would! Men could and would go wherever they wanted. And if they actually used a toilet (assuming that a man would invent that since there are no women), they would most likely dribble, and they would leave it there on the floor.

The French are off the hook in this week’s letter. They have been getting hammered by lesser -educated people at home, so I won’t contribute to it this week. No, my remarks are pointed at a specific Spaniard, and to men in general, since all men, except some gay ones, pee, dribble and ignore cleaning it up.

Since I’ve returned from my vacation, there has been a man living on my floor. He is fom Spain, and he is a biology teacher here for a month. I don’t know why it’s just for a month. I haven’t asked him that, and I probably won’t because his little problem annoys me so much that I can’t talk to him. He grosses me out, and he reminds me of someone I can’t stand anyway, so he has two big strikes against him.

So, he shares a WC with me. A woman sharing a WC with another woman, whom she does not know, would, in 98% of cases, leave the area as clean or cleaner than it was before she used it. I’m sorry if I expect or hope too much, but I think a man should do the same thing after he’s done. However, in general, they don’t. This Spaniard, I think his name starts with P, does his business, dribbles and doesn’t clean it up! And what’s worse is that he RUBS it into the floor with his SHOE! This leaves an obvious black swirl on the floor. AND IT DISGUSTS ME!!! It makes me want to kick him so hard that his instument doesn’t even work anymore, but I believe in peace. I believe in peace, my friends! Plus I’d probably break my foot because that’s usually what happens when I kick stuff in anger.

Last Friday P tried to clean it up, but he only used water to do it. I went in to use the WC, and I noticed that the floor was clean. I was happy until I shut the door and breathed in, and I was almost knocked out by the smell. It smelled like a port-o-potty, and that is not what I want MY BATHROOM to smell like. So I cleaned it the way it should have been done, and I enjoyed a weekend of clean floor because he had gone somewhere. Sunday night whe I returned from my day, I knew P was back. It was as if he had left a note saying, “Honey, I’m home!” There was a new black swirl on the floor!

What do I do about this? Do I just wait it out now that there are two weeks left? Do I leave P my own little note? Do I confront him and say, “NO PISAR!”? I asked these questions to some of the English teachers yesterday, and they didn’t know the answer. I need help! Tell me what to do. I’m at a loss.

And that is all I have to say this week. Please write any suggestions you have and I will take them into considration. Next week I will tell you what I have done. Take care. And remember: “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and clean up after yourself because nobody wants to do it for you!”


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