Tuesday, December 17, 2002

1, 2, 3, 4, Musique!

Well, you know how much I love “Star Academy” by now. It is a full-blown addiction, and I will go through rehab while I’m at home for Christmas. Rehab will involve spending hours watching all of the “Friends” episodes that my mom has taped for me, right mom? So anyway, “Star Academy”…I made sure to be back in the village in time to be sitting in front of the TV at 8:50 to watch the girls final between the evil witch, Emma, and the even-tempered songbird, Nolwenn. I sat down and turned on the television, and no “Star Academy”. You are not going to believe what was on instead. I still can’t believe that this was on. Miss France! MISS FRANCE!!! Who cares about Miss France when the future of French music (not saying a whole lot) is on the line? I was livid! (Imaginez un peu.) But I wasn’t mad enough to break any bones or anything else. I tried to text Nathan to ask him what was going on. I sent several messages, and he did not respond, so I could only assume that he also saw that Miss France was on, squealed, pulled out his hair, jumped out the window, and ran down the street naked, shouting obscenities. Then he got arrested.

Nathan finally called me over an hour later and informed me that “Star Academy” had been on the night before. UGH! I was so pist. Why can’t people tell me this stuff? Does anyone realize how important this is? I was relieved to find out that Nolwenn is going to join Houcine in the final. The winner between the two isn’t as important to me since they are both very talented. I think Nolwenn should win because she has the better voice, but Nathan thinks that Houcine should win because he has the most charisma. And charisma, not voice, makes a pop star, see Britney Spears, Madonna, ‘NSYNC, etc. But come on, we all know that those people have just sold their souls to the dude downstairs. I am so glad that I don’t fly home until Sunday so I can watch the final between Nolwenn and Houcine from my hotel room in Lyon Saturday night.

I need to clarify my earlier comment about French music. Basically, I think FRENCH music sucks. I would rather stick very sharp, electrically charged things in my ears than listen to most music put out by French people. One reason that I like “Star Academy” is that the majority of people that come on the show to sing with the “students” are Quebecois or American. So I can enjoy music that is sung in French, and it is pretty good. I’m going to say it even though many of my friends who are French or French-speakers may be offended, but you remember my sentiments in last week’s letter, n’est-ce pas? I do not like Francis Cabrel or those other two guys whom everyone adores (The 3 are really the same person, you know.) I don’t like them. Their music makes me want to hurt cute puppies. Okay, enough of that.

Tonight I was talking to my friend, Deb, who has recently had her third child, a girl named Regan. She was feeding the boys, and her oldest, Talmadge (6 years old), wasn’t eating. So she did what any mom would do…she threatened him, and this was the greatest threat in the world. She said, “Talmadge, if you don’t eat your lunch, you won’t go to school!” RIIIIIGHT! Ooh, mom, I’m really scared. Please, don’t keep me home from school. Please let me go. I love school. I’d rather be there than anywhere; you know that.

Seriously, what kind of threat is that?! Is that like reverse psychology for fat kids who don’t think dieting or school is fun? But Talmadge is perfect…he doesn’t need that kind of trick. Wait, maybe he isn’t so perfect because he actually falls for that joke. Wow!

One of my classes is going to get in trouble. Today I had the entire class instead of just half because the teacher didn’t have time to plan two different lessons for the week, but she had time to sit in the teachers’ lounge for two hours chatting and drinking coffee. She was in the same chair and position she was in when I had left her two hours earlier. This one class was driving me mad today because they wouldn’t shut up. They were chatterboxes, and they left me no control. So I let them leave early, and I told the teacher that they were horrible, the whole lot of them. She said she would get on them Thursday. Good, I wanted to smack the stuffing out of a few of them. But I am enjoying what I’m doing. Some of the students are a lot of fun. And being here allows me to see and do many things that I wouldn’t be able to experience in such a short time if I had a real job. But a real job is around the corner because I can’t do this one for much longer.

That is all for this week. You may be pleased to know that I didn’t go to that store to nettle the fundamentalist Muslims, but thinking about doing it still puts a mischievous smirk across my face. When I’m home, I should get a bandana with the American flag so I can wear that when I want to go to the store and get shot.

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