Friday, May 01, 2009

Likes and dislikes (hates) at this very moment in time.

Dislikes (hates):

The word "mondo", as in "I have a mondo headache," "The Cheesecake Factory has a ridiculously mondo menu," and "I now have a mondo craving for waffles." (Just some completely random examples pulled out of thin air.)

Work. I don't want to be here right now, or ever if we get right down to it. I want my dad to pay for me for the rest of my life, and he would, too, if I wanted him to. That would make me feel like a crappy person, though, so I won't ask him that. I'll just continue to not be a fan of working. In this place. Where I am. Right this moment.

This chair. I hate this chair so much.

A guy near where I sit. He talks too much, and he loves himself A LOT (has a very self-important air). I find that unattractive (ugly). I want to kick him in the crotch.


Video clips of "Arrested Development", especially this one that pieces together various incarnations of the chicken dance as performed by the Bluth family members.

Stride spearmint gum. If I were to chomp any harder on it right now, I'd break teeth. (My dislikes/hates enhance the awesomeness of the gum. Weird.)

The ice cream sandwich I just ate.

The idea of the self-pampering day I'm going to have tomorrow. It will start off with a long bath and a facial. Then, I will meet up with friends for pedis.

Twitter. My tweeps make me laugh.

I love that my facebook page is now in the pure language of our favorite, more revered pirates, i.e., not Somali. (Thanks for bringing this language option to my attention, RC.)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008


Hello? Is anyone there?

It's been nearly a year since I've posted, obviously. I just haven't felt like blogging for a while, but I'm going to try to post something at least once a week from now on.

This year, I've been working two jobs because I'm an expensive person. I need to go places, do stuff, and buy things. For example, I recently bought a gigantic plasma screen HDTV to enhance the playing of the XBox I also bought. I like to travel to see concerts. Recently, I traveled to see Justin Timberlake and Friends. (These Friends include The Jonas Brothers [keep that on the DL], Boyz II Men, Rihanna, Leona Lewis, 50 Cent,, Adam Levine, and Lionel Ritchie.)

Having two jobs keeps me busier than I like to be, and it totally makes me not want to blog because there are so many other things I need/want to be doing instead when I'm not working. Being so busy also makes me more susceptible to colds. The last few days, I've felt like my head was going to explode, and last night while sitting at work suffering from horrible pain building behind my left eye and in my left temple, I wondered if shooting super hot water up my nose would make it feel better. I was being silly while thinking about it because the super hot water was actually boiling in my mind, and I may have also been imagining scooping my eyeball out because those things couldn't have hurt worse than it was already hurting.

I finally left work and hit a gas station on my way home to pick up a bottle of water. After arriving home, I heated the water, poured a bunch of salt in it, and this is the result. It's both funny and gross.

You're welcome.


Sunday, December 23, 2007

The Domestic

Today when I got home from work, I stayed very busy doing stuff that I hate to do: I cleaned my house, washed AND FOLDED my laundry, and those are the things I hate to do. I also made these:

Homemade peppermint oreos! I was at Triple's house a few nights ago, and she had me help her make some for her work Christmas party. They were so yummy that I mentioned them at work the following day, which got me roped into making some just for kicks. I am not going to lie; these are pure, delicious evil!

Most of you know what my job is, so I'm not going to say what it is on here. But I was talking to "a client" today. I may have fallen in love with him. We had a 20-minute conversation that had nothing to do with the business at hand. He's a physicist. I told him I was a physics T.A. at my last school. He talked about his fascination with physics. I told him about the day when I fell in love with physics. He told me that most people learn by repetition but that I was a thinker, which, he said, really impressed him. We also talked about my language and linguistics background, and he noted my excitement when I talked about what I loved about it. I've been thinking about going to work tomorrow, checking my logs, and retrieving his number...just in case. Also, I need to check and see how old he is.


Thursday, December 20, 2007


I mean that I really hate driving in the snow. That roadtrip I took a few weeks ago was enough to freak me out for years. I would have cried like a baby if I didn't feel I had a rep to protect. And today, I drove to Logan to go to my Janalyn's wedding. She was my mission companion for about half of my mission. We're besties. On my way to Logan, I thought, "This is NOT the day for me to wear make-up!" Because I NEVER wear make-up, okay? I have a lot of love for Jan and I knew I would cry elephant tears of joy during her wedding. (I didn't, but they welled up. I sucked them back into my tear ducts. I'm magic.)

Anyway, so I went to Logan for her wedding, and the drive there was good. It took an hour. There was no weather to speak of. And I thought, "Maybe it won't snow." But at 4:00, a lot of snow started falling from the sky, so I headed back home because I didn't want to get caught in the canyon, and I didn't want to have to stay the night there. The canyon was awful. The entire drive was awful. I was white-knuckling it the whole way. I couldn't see anything on either side of me, which is a really weird feeling and starts to play tricks on the eyes. It took me 2-1/2 hours to get home. When I walked into my house, I was shaking uncontrollably. I wanted anyone to be in my house so I could curl up next to them and go to sleep. Instead, I filled my tub with hot water and lavender, grabbed a bowl of chips, a nearly-full bottle of apple cider, my ipod, and a bath pillow, lit a candle, and sat in the tub for over an hour. It was nice. I feel better. But I still hate driving in the snow right now.

I listened to Supreme Beings of Leisure while in the tub. I find them soothing to listen to sometimes. Keeping in mind that I'm a rock chick, tell me who else you like to listen to when you need to relax.


Tuesday, December 18, 2007


(Because it's ~j.'s one Christmas wish.)

Am I right, one person who still comes here hoping that I'll post something?! I have been in Utah for MONTHS now and not a word! I am so irresponsible! But I can't help it! I've been having way too much fun! For example, since I've been here, I have created a whole new "Top Ten Best Concerts I Have Ever Been To" list. I have seen, not in this order:
Rilo Kiley
Regina Spektor
Arcade Fire
Fall Out Boy
Gym Class Heroes
Tori Amos
That's right! I saw her TWICE!

I kind of like going to concerts in case you didn't know.

Okay, picture time.

Here is one reason why I moved here:

This is the view out of my living room window of the first real snow.

I officially became OVER snow a couple weeks ago when some friends and I went on a roadtrip to see Fall Out Boy and Gym Class Heroes in concert. It was the night we would have died if I had not gotten so freaked out that I said, "I will drive no further! I will rent us a hotel room!" We had been driving in white-out conditions at 5 mph in the middle of nowhere and the road was slick as ice because it was covered by ice. So, I love the snow because it's beautiful, but I hate driving in it right now.

A picture of some friends during that particular hotel stay during that particular roadtrip. From left to right: Zee, FFF (AKA Triple), Me. Yes, we have the same computer. Yes, we are precious!

So, as I said, I went to TWO Tori Amos concerts. As you, one person, should be aware, I might be in love with her or addicted to her or obsessed with her or almost stalking her or something. She came to Salt Lake City at the end of November, and it was one of the most amazing shows I've ever been to. She started every show of this tour as one of the characters from her latest album, American Doll Posse, because she likes concept albums or something.

In Salt Lake City, she started the show off as Pip, the doll on the far right side. Pip is very aggressive, and she has an affinity for rubber leggings.

She also enjoys rubbing weapons all over her body.

And she's quite amazing!

And then a costume change brings about Tori in an orange wig and a horrendous sequined jumpsuit. The only reason why I'm glad the tour is now over is so she can retire both of those items. I never want to see her in them again.

I loved her show here! My friends and I were dancing around, and screaming at each other when Tori started playing a favorite song of ours (every song). We were feet away from her. It was fantastic! I did feel a little rejected, however, because I wanted to meet her at the meet and greet, but her bodyguard came out to tell us that she didn't have time to do one that day. SADNESS! There were only 15 of us there, and I KNOW I would have had time to chat with her and feel all starstruck and nerdy fan junk like that. I even waited in the freezing cold with some hardcore people for a long time after the show to see if she'd come out. And she didn't. I'd missed my most awesome chance of meeting my favorite singer.

So, for weeks, I continued to read setlists from other shows, and I continued to be jealous of the people who got to see those shows because the setlists were always "My Dream Setlist". (Unlike most people, Tori changes her setlist every night, so it's always a new show, which is why her fans love to follow her around.) This past Friday, I got it in my head that I REALLY wanted to go to her final show in L.A. Plus, I'd never been to L.A. I looked up plane tickets, and they were shockingly "cheap" for the day before the flight I would have taken. $204! My mom did not help talk me out of it because she "was in a movie". Another acquaintance seduced me into going by her prediction of which doll would open the final show. I snatched that ticket up so fast! I went to L.A. for the final show of the tour on a whim, and it was thrilling! I was so excited and giddy! I kept texting my friends my inane babblings about how I was going to L.A. because I'm batshit crazy.

Proof I went to L.A.:

It's my duty as a good Louisiana girl to take a picture of Brit-Brit's star no matter how screwed up she is or how pregnant her 16-year-old sister may be.

Also, Sweaty Elvis accosted me and then sweat on me and then expected me to tip him for his accosting and his sweat.

The best thing about L.A.?

My fat face!

Tori is such a sweetheart to her fans. (Not to these obnoxious ones, though. Forward to about 2:29 for the R-rated tirade she unleashes on some girls who were being disrespectful to her. You have been warned of the R-ratedness.) She is so gracious and humbled to meet us. She listens to every story she is told no matter how vomit-inducingly cheesy or sad it may be. She laughs and cries with us. She is sincerely interested in each person she meets. I love that she takes time out of her busy days to meet her fans.

The final show was FANTASTIC! It was so full of energy. Two dolls actually opened up the show, something that occured in three of the last few shows. We saw Isabelle, the blond with the camera, first.

She smokes herbal cigarettes, apparently. Her set was gorgeous, politically-charged, and a dream for me because all of the songs were songs I'd never seen Tori play live but had always wanted to. Isabelle left after four songs. The band continued to play a mind-blowing jam, and Matt Chamberlain, the drummer, was SICK on those drums. Some of the most amazing drumming I have ever seen! After a couple minutes, Pip came out for another ass-kicking, angry set. I LOVE this doll because she's so crazy. She does one-armed push-ups, she flips off the crowd, she growls, she drools (foams?) all over the piano, she is a piece of awesome work! Pip played five songs and left, after which Tori came out for her final jumpsuit-and-orange-wig-wearing set of her life (knock on wood). She was full of energy and nostalgia for her final show of the tour. It was a really great show, and I'm so glad that I went. I met some fun people while there, and we spent the entire day of the concert together. We are TOTAL facebook friends now! That's real love.

And finally:

Do these glasses make me look smarter?

*Most of the Tori concert pics were taken by Troy Bullocks, and I think they're awesome!

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Poetry from the TGV

I think it was Christmas 2001 that I went to France for the wedding of two friends. One of my colleagues and I were taking the TGV from Grenoble to Paris. We kind of clashed a bit because she was a little demanding, but we found an activity to entertain each other on the train that wouldn't cause me to want to smack her: crazy poetry.

These last few days, I've been going through all of my stuff because I'm moving to Salt Lake City this weekend. No big deal. And I found a paper that I wrote some of my TGV poetry on. We made up themes for each poem; I can't remember what they were, but there was some method to our madness. So without further ado, I give you Poetry from the TGV.

High-speed Train
Here I go
Fast, fast, fast
Like your mom
Through a box of doughnuts.

I love the train,
It's like lightning.
Vanilla Ice,
That punk's so frightening!

The high-speed train
Ça ne prend que des heures
Pour aller quelque part.
C'est facile comme bonjour.

The Birch
A tree
So free
From sun
From rain
Chopped down
Wood planks
Add wheels

I never said it was good poetry, but they make me laugh nonetheless. "C'est facile comme bonjour" (It's as easy as Bonjour.) is a shout-out to my favorite French professor at BYU. My colleague and I worked for her and had recently taken her phonetics course. The phrase was always fresh in our minds.

Please, be as silly as you want and leave a haiku in the comments.

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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Hotlanta Funtastic Music Fest

Okay, telling you about HFMF is way overdue, but I've been out of town a lot lately or busy. So in an effort to not be sitting here all day writing about a FUNTASTIC week, I will make a list of fun happenings.

1. FFF and I stayed with her cousins in Atlanta which totally helped amp up the ability to have more fun (because mo' money=mo' fun and not mo' problems as Biggie is wont to tell us). Her cousins have two girls (10 and 7? 8?) who are adorable and hungry for life. They EAT IT UP!

2. The night we arrived, we went to Stone Mountain, the Mt. Rushmore of the South, apparently. It's an impressive dome of exposed granite with Southern Heroes Lee, Jackson, and Davis carved into its face. We left our sheets at home (if you know what I mean). The reason we went there was to see a laser light show. That was NOT funtastic. Well, I guess it was funtastic in the way that Triple F and I made fun of it the entire time. Do you remember this SNL skit? Watch and return. The laser light show was JUST. LIKE. THAT. in that the projected images were very literally interpreting the songs being played. I'm not being dramatic or hyperbolic or anything but completely truthful when I say that at one point in the show, I leaned over to FFF and said, "Shoot me in the face!" So I just laughed really hard when I watched that video and Tim Meadows said the same thing. It was awful and manipulative. I don't need to hear the Lee Greenwood Anthem and see images of soldiers and national monuments to feel patriotic. Just because your gut wrenches, it does not mean you're a patriot. I don't know how many times I need to say this.

3. Our first full day there was a lazy and beautiful one. We woke up and took the girls to their neighborhood pool for a few hours. Triple and I made each other laugh really hard at our AMAZING ability to out-wit children. FABULOUS! We played Sharks and Minnows into which game we invited some strange children. The group included that one kid you always hated playing with because his favorite word is "TIME!!! I CALLED TIME!!!" After the pool, it was home to play a couple hours of Karaoke Revolution Party on the X-box. For a first timer, I did pretty well. I totally plan on auditioning for American Idol because the game told me I had many a perfect run. IT IS AWN! The day ended with watching Freaky Friday, the one with the more innocent Lohan.

4. The following morning, we went into the city to the MLK, Jr. Historic Site. It's a National Park, by the way. Right there in the middle of Atlanta! With PARK RANGERS! Ranger John gave us a tour of MLK's birth home. I know this is STILL unpopular for a southern white girl to say, but I greatly respect the family he was brought up in and his life's vision.

5. On our way out of the city, we passed by a museum that advertised an exhibit of some of Annie Leibovitz's work. I love her photography. She's got a great eye. One photograph, in particular, grabbed me and held my attention for well over 10 minutes. It wasn't a picture of a very famous woman, although, she was a writer, I think. I don't know anything about her, but when I saw her picture, I knew she was a wise and gentle woman. I saw her, and our spirits connected. It was a strange, powerful moment for me. You know those moments? I wish I had that picture. I wish I could find it online.

6. The Honda Civic Tour, featuring Fall Out Boy with Cobra Starship, Paul Wall, The Academy Is..., and +44. Cobra Starship kicked off the show. They're the group that did that fun "Snakes on a Plane" song called "Bring It". They were MY FAVORITE group that night. They were a ton of fun and hilarious and crazy. Triple bought a fantastic t-shirt boasting their band. It includes images of unicorns. She and I walked around during Paul Wall's set because I'm not a big fan of the rap. I'm just not. The Academy Is...okay. And +44 is nothing but Blink 182 leftovers and nothing to write home about. And then...FALL OUT BOY! It was a great show. Triple was going to go to the show alone before we'd planned HFMF, so our tickets were not near each other, BUT THAT DIDN'T MATTER!!! We spent the entire show sitting together in the front few rows because THEY WERE EMPTY!!! It was amazing and FUNTASTIC! I spent much of the show watching her act like a 12-y.o. girl and laughing at her. It was definitely HER show because I don't spend a lot of time listening to what the emo kids are listening to (not that I haven't been doing that very thing these last two weeks).

7. We took the girls to see "Nancy Drew" Friday morning. It was cute. Afterward, Triple and I were lazing on the couch when the girls were called upstairs. We could here the younger one telling her mom about the movie. It was a play-by-play account. I don't think she omitted one detail. It was very cute, and FFF and I chuckled when we heard mom say, "Okay, you don't have to tell me everything. How did it end?" These girls are such angels. If I ever have children, I want them to be just like these girls. I'll have to email their mom and ask her how she did it.

8. Triple and I were kind of exhausted from the previous days' adventures when we went to Friday night's show. It was Feist, whom I love. The opening band was called "Grizzly Bear"...maybe it was plural...I don't know. What I DO know is that it was awful. The only way that music would have been good is if it was 3AM, I was high, I was getting higher, we were on a beach or in a meadow, and naked. I was embarrassing Triple with my loud exclamations of how I felt about the Grizzlies, but she was overruled by the masses sitting around me who agreed with me. I swear they only played one song, and most of that song was improvised. Seriously, I had to crack on them just to stay awake. After their set, I went to the bathroom where someone was getting high. If I'd only known...

Then Feist came out. She sounded good, but it wasn't really the show to go to when you were already very tired and the warm-up band was more like a lullaby. In the middle of her set, she played two very slow songs back-to-back, and I thought, "Triple is going to be OUT!" I looked over, and she sure was head-bobbing. Poor baby! Feist ended her set with a GREAT performance of "Sea Lion Woman". OH YEAH! And in the middle of the set, they did some crazy bird-chirping shite for about FIVE MINUTES! You know what I'm talking about? You know at 5AM, if you wake up, and you hear an entire FOREST of birds SINGING OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW?! AND YOU WANT TO KILL THEM ALL? Have a listen. That happened for FIVE MINUTES!!!

9. I was in a weird mood on Saturday. We went to Athens. I was in a weird mood=I was in a bad mood. We did stuff. I needed a nap. But I was TOTALLY EXCITED to see Mika that night, and HE DID NOT LET ME DOWN!!! FFF and I decided that we needed to be on the floor for this one because it was going to be an ass-shaker! If Honda Civic was HER show, this one was MINE! I was jumping around and screaming and dancing and sweating. Mika is so HOTT! AND HE COVERED SWEET DREAMS (ARE MADE OF THIS)!!! AND IT WAS AWESOME!!! The show included MANY very large, colorful balloons blown into the crowd, lollipops, confetti, and a crazy dancing man in the seats. Crazy Dancing Man was a favorite of the camera men, and at one point the camera men took a long break and just left the cameras on Crazy Dancing Man (during a set-change, of course). Also, Crazy Dancing Man was assaulted by Crazy Dancing Woman. Cover your eyes, children, because a nightmare was unfolding in front of our very eyes! I used ASSAULTED for a reason! Anyway, Mika was definitely my favorite show during HFMF, and it is one of my most favorite shows that I have ever been too. I really hope that he comes back to the states for a proper tour because I would love to see him again.

10. Sunday, FFF and I got up and packed up the car to leave. Sadness. But we would not be separated for long because we would be together again on Tuesday for Girls Camp!!! Maybe I'll write something about that shortly.

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